Once again, Michael Jackson’s burial has been postponed. This time because the family thought it wrong to bury him on his birthday, but apparently okay to let him lie around dead for months on end. Since they clearly are not ready to let go of The Gloved One, may I suggest a trip to the local taxidermist. They might even be able to install a CD for you that plays “Billie Jean” on a continuous loop. Bendable joints would allow for his placement at the dinner table so as to never miss one of your fun-filled holiday meals. Joe, the family pimp, could prop him up at the gates of Neverland and charge fans to take their pictures with him. You could even belt him up in the passenger seat so as to drive in the carpool lane. Think about it. The uses for a stuffed MJ are endless and the benefits far outweigh the disposal of his perfectly good, if slightly emaciated, nose less body.
Come on, Jacksons. Bury him already! We are all so over the "Summer of '09 Michael Jackson Dead Body Tour.” Give the poor bastard in death what he never got in life – some fucking peace.
All Hail the Write Like!
2 hours ago
4 comments:
I COMPLETELY agree. I loved him in life. I'm happy they didn't cremate him (that dust to dust thing bothers me), and it really helped my own closure that I got to see his casket. BUT... this is beginning to weird me out. I didn't even know until last week they hadn't buried him. Now I keep wondering where he is... fridge? temporary grave? morgue? Seriously, it's time.
Oh, good Lord, yes, stick him in the ground! Although, truth be known, he does have enough manufactured parts he could outlast my Buick.
Next time I'm at Madame Tussaud's, I will have to look even closer......you never know, it may be the real thing..
Do you remeber Weekend at Bernies? That is what this whole sick thing reminds me of. I expect anythime for him to make an appearance at the next awards show. I agree. Let him rest.
The news is that the family can't agree where to put him, and they tried to bury him once in LA fans were lined up making it impossible. They are worried someone will steal the body, and the gravesite will get vandalized.
To keep him safe they may have to put him in a guarded moseleum in a secret location(I am sure I spelled that wrong). That's the word on the street:)
You are funny!
Love Tawnia
They lovely "family" did the same thing with James Brown, didn't they? Damn straight, put him in the ground or in the urn or in the mausoleum. Just do it! Great article Jayne!
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