injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

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Apple still passing on porn for iPad…

Despite Hugh Hefner’s tweets this week that an uncensored Playboy magazine app would make its appearance on the iPad in March, Apple is saying no to the famed bunny humper.

Apparently, Apple has a policy of protecting us from ourselves when it comes to what it considers racy content for its timid tablet, historically banning photos of women in bikinis and even fashion layouts that bare a little too much skin.  According to Steve Jobs, if you want porn you should go to Android.

As always, it’s the children who must be protected.  God forbid, a kid should stumble across a woman’s bare breast while plotting his next murderous move on “Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars.”

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You, too, can now be stinking rich…

A Chicago man, so taken with how much he enjoyed the scent of fresh crisp bills when he went to his ATM, has designed a line of his-and-her fragrances that smell like money.  First of all, who stands at the ATM smelling their money?    Am I the only one who finds this just a little bit creepy?

Patrick McCarthy got the idea after reading a story about a Japanese study that showed a significant increase in worker productivity when the smell of money was pumped through vents into factories.   And if it’s in a study, it’s got to be true. 

The male version, His Money Cologne, combines "the woody aroma of newly printed money with a bold fusion of fresh ocean breezes, and bright citrus notes are joined by rosemary, grass, and precious woods."   Personally, I think the reference to “woody” is just a marketing ploy.

Meanwhile, the ladies' version, Her Money Eau de Parfum, "begins with the clean scent of freshly minted bills….” because we women are all about “clean and fresh.”

The cash-scented fragrances sell for $35 online, a small price to pay for the increased confidence that McCarthy believes people who wear his perfume will feel.  

I think I’ll just take the cash, get naked and roll around in it on my own, thank you.   

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Speaking of money…

With states attempting to deal with their ballooning budget deficits by making draconian cuts in services mostly for the neediest of their people, Pennsylvania has found a new source of income.   Recently signed into law is a bill that would allow table games such as poker, blackjack, roulette and dice to now be played in casinos.  The state expects to raise about $250 million and create thousands of new jobs. 

 

As always, there were those who opposed on moral grounds.  Of course, these are the same people who are the first to bitch when anyone suggests a raise in their taxes because, as Jon Stewart says, “Why should we actually have to pay for services we want?”

Personally, I think PA’s on the right track.   I’d legalize pot and prostitution and tax that, as well.

Cheers were heard statewide from excited high-rolling grannies who, up to now, have had to settle for just a free game of bingo.

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If loving you is wrong, I don’t want to be right…

Dixie and Mason

According to a report published by the Centers for Disease Control, sleeping with your dog or cat can expose you to any number of dangerous infectious diseases including strep, staph, meningitis, not to mention hook and round worms.   And letting your dog kiss you on the mouth?    Plan your funeral.

I suppose if you’re immune system is challenged in some way, it makes some sense to be prudent about sharing your pillow with the puss, but aside from that you’re more likely to die from falling out of bed, as an estimated 450 people do each year, than catch a bug from Bowzer. 

I’ve slept with my pets all my life with nothing worse than the occasional flea bite to show for it.    Humans, on the other hand – pass the penicillin.

It seems like every week there’s a new study out with warnings about some damn thing that’s going to kill us.   As I see it, none of us is getting off the planet alive anyway and if swappin’ spit with my dog is what does me in, that’s not such a bad way to go. 

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And now let’s check in with the Party of No…

Their first week back to work, the big news out of the new GOP led House was that they would be reading the Constitution – out loud – as a symbolic nod to their new Tea Party colleagues. 

That little piece of theater went so well, that they spent the entirety of last week symbolically repealing the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act. 

Word has it next week they’ll be introducing the entirely symbolic “No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion” bill, completely ignoring the fact that there is no public funding for abortion in this country. 

Didn’t the Republicans run on a promise to “listen to the people,” and “get down to the business at hand?”   I guess it’s hard to hear what the people are saying with your head so far up your ass. 

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Warning:  Do not text around bodies of water…

Just in case, like me, you're one of the only people on the planet to miss the most buzzed about video of last week, here it is.

Thank God for people like this.