In issuing an “apology” for the spill in the Gulf this week, BP CEO Tony Hayward lamented the loss of… HIS OWN FUCKING LIFE!
Geez, Tony. We’re all so sorry you’ve been inconvenienced.
I’m sure any day now you’ll be receiving a letter of apology from the loved ones of those 11 people killed on your Deep Horizon deathtrap. I’d wager all to hell that they’d like to have their lives back, too, but hey – that anguish can’t possibly compare to the pain of your tanking stock options.
Also remorseful for any furrows they may have caused on your brow are all those fisherman whose livelihoods have been destroyed by BP’s greed, arrogance, and just possibly criminal negligence. You know, the same ones you tried to buy off for a lousy $5,000 to drop any claims against the company. Ungrateful bastards. Can’t they see what this is doing to you?
And I think I speak for the thousands of fish, birds and mammals that have washed up dead on the Gulf shores smothered in what you apparently can only see at BP’s lost profits when I say how sorry I am if the photos of their lifeless bodies have caused you to lose any sleep.
You earned over $4,000,000 last year. Yes, I know – paltry by Wall Street standards – but still more than enough to buy yourself some brandy and good masseuse to relieve the tremendous stress we know you must be suffering.
The magnitude of what has been destroyed forever will not be realized for decades, but be not concerned. Your life will go on just fine, Tony.
Rest in peace…