Leap Day Lovers…
What better way to celebrate Leap Day than by taking the ultimate leap. Congratulations to Palm Springs, California, nonagenarians Lillian Hartley, 95, and her beau of 15 years, 98-year-old Allan Marks who tied the knot on Wednesday.
When told that their marriage broke the Guinness Book of World Records for oldest combined age of a couple on their wedding day, Lillian responded, “Honest to God? Oh, I’m impressed with myself.”
You’re not the only one Lillian. Best wishes.
Now to someone we wish would take a leap of the flying kind…
Rush Limbaugh gives swine a bad name. Look at that little piggy. How could anyone malign such an intelligent, adorable creature. Unless, of course, they were referring to the other end.
After his on-air bullying of Georgetown law student, Sandra Fluke, calling her a “slut” and a “prostitute,” and saying he “wanted her to make sex tapes and post them online,” Limbaugh is now saying, “Just kidding.”
Pressured by loss of advertisers anxious to distance themselves from the noxious gasbag, Limbaugh has issued this apology: “My choice of words was not the best (ya think?) and, in an attempt to be humorous (because calling a woman a slut is a laugh-fucking-riot), I created a national stir (slur). I sincerely (Yeah. We buy that.) apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting (vile, disgusting, ignorant) word choices.”
“Now how about a hug, Sandy?”
No word as to whether or not Limbaugh is still willing to “… buy Georgetown women as much aspirin as they want to put between their knees.”
Say it with me, folks: Limbaugh, you’re a steaming pile of shit.
What hard-partying, pint-size reality star is preggers?
Snooki, America’s favorite “Oompa Loompa,” is expected to pop out “Jersey Shore’s” first bundle of Jersey joy just in time for the new fall season. Could “Jersey Shore – The Next Generation” be far behind?
This week’s Golden Uterus Award goes to Oklahoma State Senator Judy McIntrye…
… for protesting Republican efforts in that state to pass the “Personhood Act” giving legal rights to embryos from the moment of fertilization, a law even the state of Mississippi, the most conservative in the nation, rejected.
And finally, after being forced by his owners to watch non-stop political coverage this entire week, “Dog sings the blues…”
Gas prices are soaring, but my book is still just a lousy ten bucks. Stay home and read.
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