This morning was like any other. Rise, pee, drink coffee, pee, check e-mail, pee, begin work on a new post – Oh, wait. I have to pee. I’m beginning to suspect that all this loss of bodily fluids may now include a considerable seepage from my brain. It was bad enough when I was unwillingly drafted into the “Can’t Remember Shit” brigade, but now my simple daily-living skills appear to be under assault, as well.
As I quickly grabbed for the tiny plunger to pluck the shard-like lens from my painful and tearing eyeball, I realized that this kind of thing has been happening with greater frequency lately. My brain leaves me to my own devices while it goes off to ponder why Mitt Romney won’t release more tax returns, or where I can find the best deal on a case of Skinny Girl Margarita.
Meanwhile, something as simple as making coffee can go horribly awry. I realize that the container needs to be filled with water BEFORE hitting the “on” button lest I burn out the whole damn unit. Conversely, I know that putting water in the container without any coffee grounds in the top will only get me hot water. Yet I’ve done both.
I routinely walk to my car and settle inside only to realize I’ve left the keys on the kitchen counter and then, upon returning home later, driven right past my own driveway.
I write grocery lists and neglect to take them with me. I remember to take my reusable bag only to pull my cart up to the checkout stand and find I’ve left it in the car. I’ve gone to the store for one thing – just one thing – oh, let’s say toilet paper – and come home with a whole bag containing everything but that. You’d think I’d remember something as important as toilet paper what with my penchant for peeing and all.
Recently, I read that eating of blueberries can improve brain function – at least in rats. Good enough for me! I’ve committed to eating a whole carton of the wonder fruit every day – that is, if I can remember.
If my pee turns blue, you’ll be the first to know.