The vagina would like to have a word with you. Not my vagina, in particular, although she’s pretty worked up about this, too, but the “royal” vagina – as in the royal “we.”
She’s more than a little disturbed about the way her name is being flaunted about these days. The blogosphere can’t seem to get enough of her and frankly, she’s a little tired of reading about herself. She recalls the days when, if she was referred to at all, it was in hushed tones and reverential terms like “private parts” or the always appropriate “down there.” She was considered mysterious and held in high regard.
Then came the “Vagina Monologues” and suddenly she found herself thrust into a very public spotlight. She had become cool and it seemed everyone wanted a part of her. Women who’d always respected her space were now insisting on having a look – with a mirror, no less! TV shows referred to her as a “va-jay-jay,” a nickname she despised the instant she heard it.
Vagina feels especially cheapened by her recent appearances on Twitter, the bathroom wall of the Internet. Do you people have no shame?
While she realizes that her name has the power to titillate, she fears being overexposed – becoming the Paris Hilton of the lower regions. Her neighbors, Labia and Clitoris, are apprehensive about being seen with her lest they, too, become exploited for the cheap amusement of the general public.
Labia has already been the target of a recent article suggesting that women should be concerned with her paleness and consider a dye job. The very thought of her precious pink petals being chemically altered has her enraged. As if women don’t have enough body issues, now they should be worried about the color of their labia?! Labia would like these women to know that men wouldn’t care if she was peacock blue. They would still fall all over themselves for a passing glance.
And so dear readers, Vagina would like to appeal to you -- the blogosphere -- to show a little restraint when tempted to bandy her name about… because vaginas have feelings, too.
Sunday Recap will return next week.
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