Here Meredith Baxter comes out as a lesbian and Tiger knocks her right off the front page. So let’s give Meredith her due first, shall we? Why she chose Matt could-he-be-any-duller Lauer to announce this to is beyond me. Wouldn’t Ellen have been the obvious choice? At least she might have gotten a few “atta girl’s” from the audience. A supportive hug from Portia. Something. Or even Oprah. The jury is still out on her and Gayle. Lauer looked like he didn’t want to be there anymore than she did.
I really wish she’d come out back in the 80s in an episode of “Family Ties” the way Ellen did on her sitcom. How cool a show would that have been with Alex going all right-wing crazy trying to figure out how he was going to still get elected president of his young Republicans club if mom was now a dad, Mallory struggling to come to terms with her mother’s sudden desire to be a “thespian,” while youngest, liberal-leaning Jennifer, proudly shares the news during class show-and-tell. Meanwhile, dad Steven embarks on an affair with neighbor Skippy’s (remember Skippy?) mother who turns out to be Glenn Close and threatens to boil the family's bunny. Now that would have been a coming-out to remember. I guess I can’t make it through this week’s recap without some mention of Tiger Woods, but really… Another day, another sex scandal. Ho-freakin’-hum. Not long ago the press was on fire over Letterman’s dalliances. Before that you couldn't turn on the TV without hearing about South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford’s outpourings of love to his Argentinean paramour. (And this week, Mrs. Sanford finally announced she’d be divorcing his sorry ass.) The list goes on and on like a scandal-of-the-month gift club. And what’s with these fools blasting their infidelities out over the internet and in texts? Testosterone really is the stupid drug.
One hardly bats an eye anymore when an entertainer or a politician are exposed as less than morally stellar. Even most cheating athletes are normally just a blip on the talk show circuit for a finite amount of time. But this Tiger Woods thing – it’s got legs. Oh yeah. We’ll be hearing about this ad nauseum for a long time to come. And we will be very slow to forgive. Especially us gals…
There will be some men who will look at Tiger’s tales of, well... tail and voice all the right admonitions, while just below the surface their inner 16-year-old horn-dog will be grinning from ear-to-ear going “Way to score!” We women, however, will sit back seething because if a man will cheat on a woman who looks like Elin Woods, what the hell chance do the rest of us mere mortals have? Add to that the fact that we all bought Mr. My-Farts-Don’t-Smell-Woods’ act lock, stock, and proverbial barrel and none of us, men or women, like to be played as fools. It makes me wonder… Why do we feel such a need for these people to be heroes in the first place?
###
It's a boy for former Hef girlfriend and Playboy bunny, Kendra Wilkinson and husband Hank Baskett, weighing in at a whopping, healthy 9lbs, 5 oz. Let's just hope this bunny doesn't follow in the footsteps of "18 Kids and Counting" Jesus-made-me-do-it Michelle Duggar who gave birth to a baby girl, sadly only 1 lb, 6 oz. It’s 19 and counting now, and I think you know how I feel about “Women Who Litter.”
In
Bidding starts at 500 drachmas.
And finally, a second Golden Balls award goes to comic genius Jon Stewart for his ever-so-skillful insertion of a solid gold bar into the anus of Glenn Beck without benefit of anesthesia. Enjoy…
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Beck - Not So Mellow Gold | ||||
| ||||
If you leave a comment a Democrat will grow balls... I'm just kinda into the whole balls thing this week.
