Citing a price dispute, Costco announced that they would no longer be carrying Coke... But fear not, Costco will continue to carry an abundant supply of crack, heroin and weed.
Kellogg Co. says there will be a nationwide shortage of its popular Eggo frozen waffles until next summer because of interruptions in production at two of the four plants where they're made, sending Glenn Beck into an meltdown of rage and tears, "Is there no end to Obama's evil?"
Martha Stewart slapped down Racheal Ray this week, saying the ever-bubbly Ray "could not hold a candle to her in the kitchen." Ray very smartly responded, "She's right. I'd rather eat Martha's food..." because you don't mess with a bitch who can make a lethal weapon out of a tampon.
Big news of the week was Oprah's announcement of her 18-month good-bye tour, creating a major run on Prozac. "Say it isn't so!" her fans cried. Good news. It actually isn't. Oprah, that smartest of all smart cookies, when faced with declining ratings, consistent Emmy losses to Ellen, and an announcement from her syndicators that they would be cutting the money they now pay her, did what any media kazillionaire would do. She bought herself a network. That's right, the Oprah Winfrey Network or OWN, as in "I own freakin' everything," will be up and running right around the time her current contract is up. Take that, Ellen...
Saving the best for last, this week our "Golden Balls Award" goes to 10-year-old Will Phillips from that bastion of liberal thought (not) Washington County, Arkansas, for refusing to say the Pledge of Allegiance until there is marriage equality for all in this country. Clearly, not your average 10-year-old, Will skipped a grade this year, going directly from third to fifth. The video speaks for itself. Let me just say that with kids like Will around, I feel much more hopeful that one day we just might have "justice for all."
If you leave a comment a red state will turn blue.
Recalibration
8 hours ago
21 comments:
I've always found the whole "pledge allegiance" thing a bit odd and uncomfortable - I think a lot of people outwith the US do. But then I've always been deeply suspicious of a) nationalism and b) authority and c) the way authorities manipulate people using nationalism as a driving force.
The kid gets my vote :)
The boy Will is my new hero! Love him! Martha also went off on Sarah Palin this week as well. There's a clip of her saying that Sarah is "dangerous", and that you couldn't pay her to read Sarah's book. That Martha!
Well, thank God my supply of crack isn't in jeopardy. *phew*
People should make more kids like that.
See, people? Arkansas has been cast as a podunk red state. And, to be fair, it is a very conservative, rural state. But up in the Northwest corner, in the foothills of the Ozarks, is a sparkling gem of a county, where there are hippies, a fantastic state university, and apparently, awesome 10-year old kids.
I am amazed at the difference in my kids' generation. Gay? Yawn. Transgender? No biggie. Good for that young man. Someday he'll be a fabulous lawyer.
I hope noone beats that kid up. Or his Dad.
His Dad's eyeroll and reaction made me laugh. So honest.
Very brave.
Wow! Loving this Will kid! Maybe there is hope for the world after all...
How many comments does it take to turn the whole country blue? Because I be a commentin'.
I once made a Martha Stewart creation - for a Halloween dinner I tied together fresh herbs into little witches brooms so that people could dip the brooms in melted butter and spread herbal butteriness all over their steaming corn on the cob. Mmm. Then she went to jail and I started eating TV dinners in silent protest.
That kid is awesome! Having raised two liberal boys in the deep south (why is it that so many people are so full of hate in the south), I am excited to hear that there are others who also want equal rights for all. It really isn't a big idea - just a fair one.
This is my favorite post of the week...and I read a lot of them. You are that 'smart funny' of which I'm such a huge fan.
Will is my hero. I can't believe anyone used the term 'delinquent' when describing him. He's more intelligent and more aware than most of the adults I know. (Did you see Jon Stewart reporting this?)
So, when are you coming to our home for dinner? You'd fit right in!
Fun post! I particularly like the comment about Martha Stewart and the tampon. The boy from Arkansas is a smart little kid. Love the clip.
I thought celebrity feuds were left to political pundits, rappers, pop stars and metal bands. But the domestic goddesses have started laying down smack? Yikes!
I'm neutral in this debate. I love how Martha brought on Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow, but I also loved Rachael Ray's interview with Tina Fey. The latter was also picked on for her "terrorist" scarf in a Dunkin' Donuts ad.
And who am I to talk? I burn microwave food.
Actually, there are pretty liberal pockets throughout Arkansas and especially here in Washington County. It's the county where Bill and Hillary Clinton began their legal careers. And best of all, it's the county where FourJugs was born! This kid is pretty special, though. I love youthful ideals.
Seriously. I'm good without frozen waffles. Really.
Now, if there is suddenly a shortage of Kroger brand chocolate milk, all hell is going to break loose at my house.
Partied last night. Staggered in here this morning and look -- there you all were. Thanks so much for all your wonderful comments. PJ,you're so sweet. I will definitely look up that Jon Stewart clip.
Soon I'll have the Disques system here and be able to reach out and stalk, I mean thank each one of you individually.
Much love, Jayne
My hope has officially been restored!
There is one thing Martha has that Rachael Ray doesn't... a criminal record:) keep up the sassy writing!
I miss all of you too much and I must keep my real life from interfering with my internet life!
Love Tawnia
I love that kid!
As to Rachel/Martha: let them beat each other up with wet noodles. I mean, really: who cares?
Thanks Jayne for posting this video. What a brave young man. At 10 years old I knew I was gay ("queer" was the word back then) but I certainly did not have the courage of this young man. I did take my first public stand against homophobia in my 40's and of course I was publically attacked for doing so. Seeing the courage of this young man has renewed my resolve to continue to fight against homophobia as I did last week when verbally attacked by the husband of my co-worker. Maybe by the time this young man is my age (68), he can take the pledge of allegiance again.
Jayne,
I'm thinking the Valley News could use a righteous columnist such as yourself:)
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