injaynesworld we ask God, "What the hell were you thinking?"

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It seems lately like all the really cool people are gay.  Neil Patrick Harris, Rachel Maddow, Ellen, of course, Queen Latifa -- who rocks more than the Queen? -- Melissa Etheridge, even the Enterprise's own Mr. Sulu.  Okay, maybe he's not all that cool, but I could go on and on.  I bet you have your favorites, too.  There are just a whole lot of really cool gay people.   I want to be gay, too, but apparently it’s not something you can just sign up for like a frequent-shopper card. 

I do think it would be nice, and certainly reasonable, if God had simply created us all bi-sexual.   It would instantly double everyone’s dating pool and we wouldn’t have so many repressed, closeted Republicans Larry Craig.  Besides, given the option we all know that men prefer to hang with other men and women prefer to hang with their girlfriends, and I’d bet the big bucks that given the biological choice you’d see a lot more same-sex couples than opposite sex ones.  

Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived in a world where “gay marriage” weren’t an issue?    Where gay teens weren’t prone to higher rates of suicide?    Where the perpetrators of hate crimes had one less group to prey on?   I think God really screwed up on this.   I honestly do.  

Another thing I think God could have done better is the design of a woman’s body.   Why is it that the female of every other species can get pregnant only when she’s in heat, while the human female can get herself knocked up pretty much any time except when she’s in heat.   In fact, other species don’t even want to have sex unless the female is in heat.  Think about it.   If you knew exactly when you could get pregnant and you didn’t want a kid, you could simply not have sex then.   Abortion would cease to be an issue.  Teen pregnancy – a thing of the past.  

And while I’m second-guessing The Big Guy here, what’s up with Victoria Secret model-types being the standard of what’s considered beautiful?    When I’m God women who look like that will be considered freaks and ostracized from society.  In fact, when I’m God good things will only happen to good people and bad things will only happen to bad people, and Prozac will be a natural ingredient in the water supply the world over thus making people far less likely to murder and start wars.  

You know what?   This God stuff?  It’s not all that hard.  I think I’d be pretty good at it. If you were God, what would you change?