Sunday, November 1, 2009

injaynesworld we bring you the "November 1st Sunday Recap"

Rush Limbaugh has been tapped as a judge in the next Miss America pageant.   Oh please God, let Perez Hilton, famous for bitch-slapping former Miss California and homophobe, Carrie Prejean, be on the panel, too.  Now that would be must-see TV. 

Levi Johnstone announced on the Today Show that his nude spread for Playgirl would be tasteful.   I don’t think you can use the words “spread” and “Playgirl” in the same sentence and have us think of anything tasteful.  But I still gotta love this guy for continuing to be a major burr on Sarah’s Palin’s butt.  This week, he revealed in his characteristic “I’m-dumb-as-stick-but-pretty-to-look-at” monotone that Sarah and Todd’s wedded bliss just might be bullshit like the rest of her life.  To which Sarah “I’m-dumb-as-a-stick-but-pretty-to-look-at” replied (and I’m paraphrasing here):  “That lying little mother-fucking bastard.” 

Gone are the hot breakfasts in most dorms and the pastries at Harvard’s Widener Library. Varsity athletes are no longer guaranteed free sweat suits, and just this week came the jarring news that professors will go without cookies at faculty meetings.  Apparently, the world’s richest university has seen the value of its endowment drop by almost 30% and is having to learn to live with less.   Welcome to my world.

Despite Republican opposition, big surprise, the Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act was included in the defense bill this week, and I have it on good authority that the Repubs are really bummed out about it, too.  We all know how they love their hate crimes. 

The much fought over public option was included in the health care bills of both the House and the Senate this week.  Turns out the whole thing was pretty much just a pissing contest between the two parties (and whatever the hell Lieberman is).  Latest info is it will probably cover not more than 2% of the people, won’t even go into effect until 2013 and won’t be fully up and running until 2019.  Apparently, all this time that President Obama has been saying that it really shouldn’t be considered the meat-and-potatoes of the bill, he was right.  It would seem that all the time and effort spent pushing for “a win for our side,” may have taken focus away from more immediate issues such as affordable coverage and comprehensive benefits.  Let’s see.  Is there a joke in here somewhere?  Oh yeah.  It’s on us – again.

On a lighter note, Walmart has added caskets to its inventory starting at the bargain price of $895 for the “Mom Remembered” steel casket.  Add $1,000 for hand-sewn pink crepe interior.   Unfortunately, they’re only sold online.  I was so looking forward to hearing, “Attention shoppers, super sale on caskets on aisle 13 for the next 10 minutes.   Buy one, get one free.”  Because who knows when you’ll need an extra bed for guests. 

Finally, today I was awarded the “Tell It Like It Is” (aka “Cannot Keep Your Big Mouth Shut, Can You?”) award from that wild gal, Lee, at Headaches, Hotflashes & Hormones.   Isn’t it cool?   It’s so me.   I love it.  

Tradition calls for the passing on of such an award and I know of no person more worthy of acknowledgment for her big mouth and rockin’ attitude than my BFF, Kristi Stevens, at Stepford Stories.   So go give her some love.  

As always, if I've missed any of your faves from last week, by all means do share... 


Lee said...

I gotta go and check out the new blog, and thanks for the updates...crack me up!

Linda Medrano said...

I would rather see Charlie Manson judge the Miss America thing, or maybe Scott Peterson. If Rush likes her, well, never mind. I'm sick in the brain and I shouldn't go there.

I like that Palin almost husband. He's cute and dumb. And he sticks it to Mom even worse than he stuck it to the daughter.

I must quit before I get worse. Shingles have affected my brain.

laughykate said...

Your ability to paraphrase is quite exceptional.

*takes hat off and bows*

Lucy said...

I love your recaps--so funny and true all at the same time.

Can I just say that Wal-mart selling caskets really creeps me out? And that you have to order them online? Well, I just get this awful visual of the UPS guy dragging a casket up to your front door. I don't know that that is a package I'd sign for...

MrsBlogAlot said...

I guess I shouldn't say much about him judging (although I want to)...might mess up my chances for winning the title (-:

Kristi said...

I am so not worthy.

But, Liz Cheney did inspire me to drop the the F Bomb in this week's Political MMQ. I know how you love her, Jayne - enjoy.

Much love,

Kristi said...

PS - You're kidding about Rush judging Miss America, right? Because that is wrong on so many levels I can't deal with it.

Smart Mouth Broad said...

Congrats on your much deserved award, Jayne.

Walmart selling caskets. Is it me or when you need a casket, you kind of need it urgently, right? Imagine how much the overnight shipping will be! EEK!

Tricia McWhorter said...

I found your blog through a comment you left over at I Wonder Wye and just had a feeling I was going to enjoy your blog. Bingo. I love being right.

As a passing response to the comment I was following, I graduated in '66 and used to follow the conga drummers around in Golden Gate Park during the Summer of Love. Interesting days...

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