Wednesday, March 28, 2012

injaynesworld we ask “Mad Men… What’s All The Fuss?”

I want to like “Mad Men,” but I don’t. 

It’s not like I haven’t tried to like this very popular show.  I enjoy nostalgia as much as the next person.  Show me a hula hoop and my eyes light up.   The little Alka-Seltzer guy?   I’m “popping and fizzing” with the best of them.  Hell, even a photo of Dwight D. Eisenhower can make me smile at simpler times when ice cream bars were ten cents and “Perry Mason” was must-see TV. But “Mad Men” bores the bajeezus out of me. 

I just can’t seem to get excited about watching a bunch of men who are perpetually stuck in adolescence like Krazy Glue, ogling subservient women who are no more than eye candy and the butt of tits-and-ass jokes.  And what does the show do to the only two women with any attitude at all?  Betty Draper and Joan Holloway?   Knocks ‘em up!  That’ll teach ‘em.

Each season, I tune in to see if this time – this time – the storyline will sustain me.  Granted, I cheat.  I hedge my bet by setting it on DVR – so I can fast-forward through the commercials, I tell myself.   This week’s two-hour premiere was over in 20 minutes at my place. 

The show’s theme song could be the anthem of the GOP, a party that would also like to take women back in time when we had little say over our lives and no say over our bodies.   Maybe I’m particularly sensitive because I actually lived through the show’s era and have seen what a world ruled by white men has produced. 

Clearly, I’m in the minority though.   The show has garnered numerous Emmys, although I suspect that has more to do with Hollywood wanting to jump on the “hip” bandwagon than “Mad Men” actually being so much better than every other show on TV.   I’ll give them one for costume and set design, but that’s as generous as I get.

Jon Hamm is one handsome fella.  No argument there.  But more so than McDreamy?   I think not.   

So feel free to enlighten me here.  What’s all the fuss about “Mad Men?”   

Sunday, March 25, 2012

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

At a network where “ignorant” has so become the norm as to have lost all meaning, this week Faux News pundit Geraldo Rivera still managed to distinguish himself…

Proclaiming that the hoodie Trayvon Martin was wearing when he was gunned down was “as much to blame” for his killing as the guy who pulled the trigger boggles the mind and even caused Rivera’s own son to publicly declare him a douche.   Well, maybe not in so many words, but “I’m ashamed of you,” isn’t exactly the ringing endorsement you want from your kid.   

When I look at Martin’s Facebook photo, I see the face of a million other kids trying to look cool, except this kid’s skin happens to be black.  Personally, I’d rather walk down the street and see Trayvon Martin in his hoodie than these kids in theirs. 

“As much to blame?”  Yeah.  And women in short skirts are “asking for it,” too.


The National Organization of (Our) Marriage (Not Yours)…

is at it again with a campaign to boycott Starbucks this time  – because their boycott of J.C. Penney worked out sooo well.  The group has taken great umbrage to Starbucks’ corporate stance supporting same-sex marriage and now they want customers of the coffee giant to take their dark-roast lovin’ dollars elsewhere. 

In a statement, NOM said:  “… Starbucks has deeply offended at least half of its U.S. customers, and a vast majority of its international customers.”  That would be news to Canada, Spain, The Netherlands, Portugal, South Africa, Norway, Belgium, and Sweden, all countries where same-sex marriage is legal and Starbucks is doing just fine. 

Last I checked, their petition had garnered about 2300 signatures out of approximately 300,000,000 people in the U.S.   Let’s see, that would be...  Oh, hell.  You do the math


Romney shakened...

As if Romney wasn’t having a bad enough week after his own campaign staffer assured the world that if you like Etch-A-Sketch, you’ll love Romney’s fall campaign…

Source:  The Daily Kos
… Now a new Public Policy Poll shows that even George W. Bush is more popular than Romney, with Bush at 79% favorable and 15% unfavorable to Romney’s 49/42% ratio.   

Yeah, this guy.

Behold – The Snatchel.  

Outraged by the GOP’s legislative intrusion into our most private parts, The Snatchel Project is asking women to send congressmen their very own knitted vaginas with the message that, unless by personal invitation, we want them to stay the hell away from ours.  

Pissed off by the continued stripping of women’s health care rights, these smart, funny women are making the point that we are not going to take this lying down.  So, cozy up to this, assholes. 


You all know I’m a ho for free stuff…

My friends over at Tribal Blogs are giving away – YES, GIVING AWAY – a FREE blog makeover to one lucky person.  You’d pay a bundle for a package like this elsewhere, so head on over there and enter their generous giveaway.  These gals do great work.   Check out the website they did for me: where, coincidentally, you can read about and buy my book.   Okay, I’m a ho for self-promotion, too.  


Finally, this week Twitter celebrated its 6th anniversary of giving us all the bird.  Celebrities marked the occasion by reading aloud some of the meanest tweets they’ve ever received.  Enjoy…

Your comments are better than sex and almost as good as chocolate... 

Friday, March 23, 2012

injaynesworld it's "A Mother's Gift..."

The black, starless sky merges with the still body of water, creating the illusion of one.  Lit only by a single moonbeam, the bare arm of a woman reaches from beneath the water’s dark surface, creating a gentle circle of ripples. In her hand, an infant held high and safe from that which its mother could not survive. 

When I think of my mother, this is the image that comes to mind.  A struggling alcoholic for much of her life, she traded that addiction for cancer and died when she was only 54.   I was grown by then.   At 22, I had been on my own for three years.  My mother had poured all that was good, wise and strong from her into me so that I would thrive, and when she was sure I was on solid ground, she left. 

One of her greatest gifts to me was the belief that there was nothing I couldn’t be or do.  “There’s always a way,” she would often tell me.   By this she meant that whatever the challenge, there was always a way to overcome it.  I didn’t have to invent the way.  It already existed.  I had only to believe it was so, and believe I did and do to this day.   Given her own pain, I don’t know where this faith and optimism came from, but she was determined that I would succeed where she had not.

Today is my mother’s birthday.   She would have been 94.   Thank you, Mom.  You done good.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

injaynesworld we "Choose Faith..."

A large red-tail hawk perched on a fencepost not a dozen feet away watches me with keen interest as I approach.   Stunned by the nearness of a creature I most often am able to only admire as it soars far overhead, I stop.  For the briefest of moments our eyes meet.  Then he spreads his wings and lifts off, quietly rising up into the sky as effortlessly as that of a single feather, the epitome of confidence.

How often we of the human species, when faced with a desire, goal or challenge, dwell on all the reasons why we may fail until we convince ourselves not to try at all, or are so timid in our effort that we guarantee failure and then say, “I knew I couldn’t do it.”  Often, when success does come, convinced we are imposters, we dare not fly too close to the sun, and so instead sabotage ourselves until we are once again earthbound.  

A mother hawk flies from her nest to another tree nearby and calls to her young to follow.    At first are heard only the tiny cries of protest as they beckon their mother home.  But the mother is insistent and soon, one by one, they embrace her faith.   


Thursday, March 15, 2012

injaynesworld it's "The Belly Fat Stalker..."

Who is this cyber bitch and why is she following me?   She always seems to know where I’m going and manages to be there waiting when I arrive.  Try as I might, I can’t shake her.

Since I’m of a “certain age,” I will admit to a bit of shall we say "extra" around the middle.   It’s where that which might have otherwise found itself comfortably ensconced on my ass has migrated.   Still, it’s not exactly a flotation device and I truly feel I’m being unfairly targeted. 

I wonder how I attracted this unwanted attention in the first place.  An innocent search for the best prices on Spanx maybe?   Did I inadvertently “like” Demi Moore, the emaciated version, on Facebook?   Maybe it was that free "Abs of Steel" offer.

I was on HuffPo this morning when there she was again, this time warning me that belly fat could cause  dementia.   Hmm… That might explain my propensity to set down objects only to find moments later that they’ve disappeared.  Or my encounters with acquaintances in the produce aisle – people whose names I know as well as my own, but can’t recall for the life of me until I get home and blurt out “Shelley!” only to realize that I’ve forgotten the tomatoes, which was my whole reason for going to the damn store in the first place.

Unable to bring myself to click on the ad, I’m not even sure what it is she’s selling.   I’m simply offended by her presence and I want her to go away. 

Who's stalking you these days?   Maybe we could trade.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

Thursday, March 8th was International Women’s Day and let’s look at how it was celebrated here in the U.S. of A…

In Alabama, women protested against yet another forced vaginal probe bill…

In Kansas and Arizona, bills were introduced protecting from malpractice suits doctors who withhold medical information from a pregnant woman if they think that information might lead to her having an abortion.  However, in all fairness, they did include a sweet loophole whereby a wrongful death suit could still be filed if the mother died as a result of such withholding.   So really, who can complain?   Oh, yeah.  The dead woman.

And in Oklahoma, a woman is required to be told that there is a link between abortions and an increased risk of breast cancer….  even though no such link actually exists.

But no one knows how to celebrate women like those good old boys down in Georgia where, regardless of any medical complications, after 20 weeks a woman would be required to carry a pregnancy to term because really… women aren’t all that much different than farm animals.


Now lest you think that no one got into the true spirit of celebrating what’s really most important to today's women…

In honor of International Women’s Day, an auto designer in India has made a series of cars in the shapes of objects close to women’s hearts:  A shoe, a compact, and a lipstick.

Oh, yeah, baby… We’ve come a long way.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

injaynesworld it's "All Too Familiar..."

The table is piled high with books, newspapers, mail, and a half-eaten sandwich from days gone by.   From beneath the rubble something stirs, causing an unopened phone bill to float to the floor.  A tiny hand appears, no bigger than a postage stamp.  Then another, as Celeste, disheveled and dazed, slowly crawls from beneath the rubble, pulling a Post-It from her tangled hair.  She rises to her feet, steadies herself against a cup and looks around in disgust.   How long had she been under there this time?       

“Writers!” she grumbled.  “I’m a muse, not a magician.”

Sunday, March 4, 2012

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

Leap Day Lovers…

What better way to celebrate Leap Day than by taking the ultimate leap.   Congratulations to Palm Springs, California, nonagenarians Lillian Hartley, 95, and her beau of 15 years, 98-year-old Allan Marks who tied the knot on Wednesday.  

When told that their marriage broke the Guinness Book of World Records for oldest combined age of a couple on their wedding day, Lillian responded, “Honest to God?  Oh, I’m impressed with myself.”  

You’re not the only one Lillian.  Best wishes.


Now to someone we wish would take a leap of the flying kind…

Rush Limbaugh gives swine a bad name.  Look at that little piggy.   How could anyone malign such an intelligent, adorable creature. Unless, of course, they were referring to the other end. 

After his on-air bullying of Georgetown law student, Sandra Fluke, calling her a “slut” and a “prostitute,” and saying he “wanted her to make sex tapes and post them online,” Limbaugh is now saying, “Just kidding.”

Pressured by loss of advertisers anxious to distance themselves from the noxious gasbag, Limbaugh has issued this apology:  “My choice of words was not the best (ya think?) and, in an attempt to be humorous (because calling a woman a slut is a laugh-fucking-riot), I created a national stir (slur).  I sincerely (Yeah.  We buy that.) apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting (vile, disgusting, ignorant) word choices.”  

Now how about a hug, Sandy?

No word as to whether or not Limbaugh is still willing to “… buy Georgetown women as much aspirin as they want to put between their knees.”

Say it with me, folks:  Limbaugh, you’re a steaming pile of shit.  


What hard-partying, pint-size reality star is preggers?

Snooki, America’s favorite “Oompa Loompa,” is expected to pop out “Jersey Shore’s” first bundle of Jersey joy just in time for the new fall season.   Could “Jersey Shore – The Next Generation” be far behind?  


This week’s Golden Uterus Award goes to Oklahoma State Senator Judy McIntrye…

… for protesting Republican efforts in that state to pass the “Personhood Act” giving legal rights to embryos from the moment of fertilization, a law even the state of Mississippi, the most conservative in the nation, rejected.


And finally, after being forced by his owners to watch non-stop political coverage this entire week,  “Dog sings the blues…”

Gas prices are soaring, but my book is still just a lousy ten bucks.   Stay home and read.

Click to purchase

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