Sunday, November 28, 2010

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

It’s things like this that make feel happy I’m old and will be dead relatively soon…

Because it’s not enough for the Republicans to block every attempt to help regular folks out in these economically trying times, now they want to play fast and loose with our national security.   Since first proposed in 1982 by President Reagan and finally signed in 1991, every single Congress has voted to ratify the START treaty between the U.S. and Russia that allows us to verify each others nuclear weapons stockpile.  

Every single Congress, that is, except this current group of partisan douchebags.  These “patriots” believe it’s more important to weaken a President of the United States in the eyes of the world than it is to protect you and I from possible nuclear annihilation.  

Give it up for the GOP for once again earning the prestigious “Steaming Pile of Shit Award.”  


Meanwhile, the outrage over TSA screenings continued here…

While terrorists enjoyed screenings of their own.

Did you travel by air this week?    Grope or Scan?


Do you know this man…?

No, it’s not Santa’s employee I.D. card from Macy’s.    John Robert Boone, aka the King of Pot, is a full-blown legend in Kentucky where he went on the run after authorities busted his farm and confiscated 2,400 marijuana plants. 

According to a Facebook page, “Run Johnny Run,” started by his fans:  “This man is a neighborly, non-violent, hard-working, industrious American.  Our government needs to stop wasting time, money and resources trying to incarcerate a man who was a productive member of society.”

This isn’t “Run, Johnny, Run’s” first run-in with “Johnny Law.”   They go back to the late 1980s when Boone spent more than a decade as a guest of the feds for leading a group of pot growers in nine states in growing 182 tons of the happy weed.   If caught now, Boone faces life in prison – on the taxpayers’ dime.  

Meanwhile, this week Willie Nelson got busted for pot possession yet again, but damn he looks happy. 


And now a salute to American entrepreneurship of the legal kind…

If you’re like me, you love your coffee, but not so much those annoying pee-runs that always follow.   Well, now there’s an answer.   Behold – caffeinated popcorn.

According to creators Amanda and Matthew Fitch, who pop up the energy-boosting treat in their New Hampshire home kitchen, Bio-Fuel kettle-style popcorn has the same amount of caffeine as a strong cup of coffee -- two cups if you buy the extra-strength -- but no caffeine taste.

Apparently, the sweet and salty snack with the buzz bonus is a big hit, with some people saying it’s as addicting as cocaine.  Now there’s a sales pitch.   


North and South Korea are all up in each other’s faces again and you knew Sarah Palin would have an opinion. 

While being interviewed by Glenn Beck about her plans to run for president in 2012, Palin was asked how she would handle the current North/South Korea conflict.   “Obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies," she spouted with confidence before being corrected by Beck, "Uh, South Korea."

Okay, first of all I guess we’ve got to give her credit for even knowing that there are two Koreas and sure, anyone can make a slip of the tongue – although with Palin's tenuous grasp of the English language, one is often hard-pressed to discern the slip from the non-slip. 

What should frighten anyone with even a scrap of awareness of the very dangerous world we live in, is that Palin was presenting herself as an expert on Korean foreign policy, something she clearly knows nothing about, and people were listening to her opinion as if it actually mattered.

Now that foreign entities can easily and secretly funnel money into campaign coffers to influence U.S. elections, you can betcha who America’s enemies will be supporting in 2012. 


Finally, this little gem…

A New York subway flasher picks the wrong woman with whom to share his business…

After noticing someone pressing up against her on an uncrowded subway car, this woman looked down to discover that a man had his penis hanging out of his pants, and then the fun really began.

Maybe he was hoping for a patdown. 

Your turn to chime in…

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

injaynesworld we revisit "Gratitude Is The Attitude..."

First posted in February of this year and re-posted today in the spirit of the season because we can never be reminded too often of all we have to be grateful for...

I live on a lovely farm surrounded by strawberry fields, vineyards and ranches.  Today the rain has come again – the rain I whined and bitched about last week – yes, it’s back.  But this morning, something is different.

My desk sits in front of a large picture window that looks out upon lush, green fields, oak trees, and a gray sky that today feels more like a cozy blanket than a bearer of gloom.   Mason-kitty sits in front of the computer gazing out the window at birds he’ll never catch, while Dixie, the four-pound princess, snuggles and snoozes tightly zipped up inside my jacket, her tiny head pressed against my heart. 

My world is at peace… and I am grateful.

Elsewhere blizzards have made the lives of many of my friends miserable and difficult and it would appear there is no end in sight.   In Washington, the governing has come to a standstill, though one would be hard pressed to notice.  Snow days and snow jobs seem to be the order of the day in our nation’s capitol.  

Still, this country has given me freedoms and opportunities unknown to women in so many other parts of the world… and I am grateful.

Unemployment has devastated the middle class, while the rich continue to get richer.  The average time between losing and finding a job now is 30 weeks.  I will never be rich.  I will probably always be up to my ass in debt, but I have a job… and I am grateful.

I have friends whose love and generosity continuously amaze me.  I am blessed with good health and, at least for the time being, I have health insurance.  I have food when I’m hungry, water when I thirst, and a warm bed where I sleep safe and free from the sounds of  war… and I am grateful.

There will always be plenty of days and things to find fault with.  Today, however, I will bitch about nothing.    Today, I will just be grateful…

Happy Thanksgiving and thank you to all those who have made this blog possible with your readership, participation and encouragement. 

Sunday, November 21, 2010

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

If you’re a male prostitute who happens to also be Catholic, you’re in luck!

Since there is obviously no issue of contraception involved, the Holy Father has now decreed that you can use condoms with his blessing in order to prevent the spread of HIV.   There is so much wrong with this sentence, I don’t know where to begin.

First of all, if you’re a Catholic male prostitute, I’m thinking you’ve already strayed pretty far from the Church’s teachings.  God forbid you should also sin by using a condom.   I think that horse has left the barn.

Lest anyone worry that the Pope is going all open-minded on us, if you’re a married couple where one spouse is infected, you’re still screwed.  No condoms for you.


It was a busy week for the Party of No…

Republicans said no to equal pay for women, no to unemployment extension for two million families whose benefits will expire December 1st (Merry Fucking Christmas), and held middle-class tax cuts hostage while continuing to fight hard for the extension of tax cuts for the rich.

According to the group Patriot Millionaires For Fiscal Strength, a group of rich folks who are actually asking for their privileged tax cuts to expire: 

"Only 375,000 Americans have incomes of over $1,000,000, but a whopping 44% of our reps in Congress are millionaires."

Can you say "conflict of interest?"


Planning on flying this Thanksgiving?

If you’re willing to let a stranger cop a feel you could win a iPod Touch from   

Loopt, makers of a mobile check-in app, is giving away 10 iPods to those who fly on the day before Thanksgiving and opt out of the body scanner.   All you have to do is Tweet about your molestation with the world and you could be the lucky winner!   

Personally, I think the terrorists have now officially won.  Give them all iPods. 

Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. --Benjamin Franklin


It might have gone unnoticed to you, but this past Friday, November 19th, was World Toilet Day.   I know.   I didn’t get a card either...   

The very real and serious reason behind this day for honoring the throne is to bring attention to the fact that 2.5 billion of the world’s population don’t have adequate sanitation.  One out of five children in the world die before their fifth birthday due to diarrhea disease.

So on Friday, if you noticed people squatting in the oddest places, it was all part of a plan by the World Toilet Organization to raise awareness of this problem by asking people that day to just squat wherever they happened to be for one full minute – no dropping of the pants required or encouraged.  


An app for your crap…

And I would be remiss if I didn't also bring your attention to a new app called Flush Tracker.  Launched to coincide with World Toilet Day, this little tech gem allows you to track your poo from elimination to the finish line, if you're so inclined.   

The Brits are having a fine time with this.  On Friday, office work everywhere backed up as people, using Google mapping, tracked their latest offering through the city sanitation system all the way to the sewage facility giving the term "anal retentive" a whole new meaning.

Sorry folks.  Flush Tracker is not yet available in the U.S.


Thinking about a jaunt south of the border, but concerned for your safety?

Not to worry…

Whatchu got to say...?

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

injaynesworld it's a "Dancing With The Stars Shoot-Out..."

In Wisconsin, a 67-year-old man was so enraged after watching Bristol’s thundering attempt at the Paso Doble on Monday night that he took his shotgun and blasted his television, then turned the gun on his wife who managed to escape.   

Okay.  I’m not that pissed off, but…

The phones banks of the Sarah Palin fan base have once again saved Bristol’s lumbering ass.  If you’ve been following this season, you’ve seen it happen over and over, but it’s still shocking when mediocrity trumps excellence and I think it sends a lousy message to young people that once again, “It’s who you know, not what you know.”

According to news reports, conservative author/radio host Tammy Bruce put out this message to her 14,000 followers Monday night:

"Operation Bristol waltzes in tonight! As #DWTS starts vote at Tweeps pls tweet phone info, will RT."

"Operation Bristol" has been posted and re-posted by websites like Conservatives4Palin and us4Palin.

Meanwhile, pop singer Brandy, who’d received 10s for her dances on Monday night and has consistently and deservedly been in the top three couples, was sent packing.   

You’d think at some point, the Operation Bristol people would start to feel a bit of shame.    You’d think Bristol, fully knowing what’s going on, would have shown some integrity Tuesday night by thanking everyone for the opportunity she’s had and graciously removing herself from the competition.   Just imagine if she’d done that.  It’s all anyone would have been talking about for weeks.   Overnight, she’d have become the media sensation she clearly longs to be and earned the respect of even the Palin family’s harshest critics.   I think her star might have even eclipsed her mother’s and, best of all for Bristol, she’d finally be standing in her own light.  

But then, coming from the family that she does, where would she have ever learned integrity?  

Agree?  Disagree?   I know you have an opinion…

Sunday, November 14, 2010

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

There’s an app for the clap...

You've gotta love the Brits.  In an effort to combat the spread of STDs among its randy
youth too shy to visit a doctor, the U.K. government has spent $6.5 million to develop a
computer chip that you pee on, insert into your smart phone and it will tell you if that
itchy, burning sensation down yonder is something to worry about or just the result of
poor hygiene.

The test will cost about $2.00 and be available in condom vending machines.   No word as to whether it notifies everyone on your contact list if you’re positive, but Norton Anti-Virus is rumored to working on an app that will clear things right up for you.


Been wondering where to take the family on that next vacation?

How about a visit to the Khalid Nabi penis cemetery in the fun-filled country of Iran?  The centuries old graveyard boasts over 600 phallic headstones of various heights.  Yes, even back then apparently size was an issue.  

While very little research has been done on the site, its thought that the genitalia-adorned graves are left over from a phallic worshiping religion once practiced in the region.

Not exactly your Disney theme park, however the cemetery is attracting tourists from all over the world who come to have their pictures taken with the old, stone dicks. 

In the U.S. we just visit Washington


And speaking of dicks...

The Decider is back and hawking his memoir, “Decision Points…”

On water boarding, Bush said he authorized the water boarding of two CIA prisoners, that it was legal and he’d do it again.  When asked by Matt Lauer what made him think it was legal, he replied, “Because the lawyer said it was legal.” 

Must have been the esteemed law firm of “Flipper & Shamu.”


What would you pay for Bernie Madoff’s boxers?

The undies are just one of the items of Madoff’s personal possessions up for auction to raise funds for reimbursing the victims of one of the most impressive, albeit egregious, scams of all time.   Seriously, though… the guy didn’t even get to take his underwear?   That seems kind of cold.   I bet the prison-issue ones aren’t nearly as comfy.

I hope they’re at least autographed and, of course, I’m assuming they’ve been washed.


And finally, apropos of absolutely nothing except my reverence for the twisted…

 “South Park” kills off Justin Bieber…

I think my work here is done...

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

injaynesworld it starts with "That First Puff..."

One of my earliest childhood memories is being taken by my mother to visit “the folks,” a group of six siblings that comprised my grandmother, her four sisters and her brother.  From my perspective as a five-year-old they were ancient, but in reality they were probably no older than I am now.   They all lived nearby each other in those wonderful old San Francisco Victorian flats with the long, long hallways.

I vividly recall my mother holding my hand as we walked toward the dark, smoke-filled room at the back of the flat -- and it was always dark, no matter what time of day.  The shades were pulled and one lone bare bulb hung down over the middle of a round table where the folks met daily to play poker.   Each of them wore a green, plastic visor low over their eyes where the smoke from the long ash on the cigarettes dangling precariously from their lips would collect.   I don’t know how they saw a thing. 

It was here that my single mother would often drop me while she went off to work at whatever job she happened to have at the time.   I have no memories of actually staying in that room, only being deposited there.  The folks told my mother that I was no trouble at all and would just curl up in a chair and nap.   I rather think I simply passed out from lack of oxygen.

We knew nothing about the dangers of smoking back then and certainly no one had heard of the term “second-hand” smoke.   Besides, doctors smoked so how could it be bad? 

And it was so glamorous...   Hell, even Santa smoked.

Fast forward…

In an effort to shock people into quitting smoking or discourage them from starting in the first place, today the FDA revealed a series of graphic photos depicting the health dangers of smoking that it would require tobacco companies to place on each pack of cigarettes they sell.

Wow.   You’ve come a long way, baby…

I smoked my last cigarette 30 years ago.  What about you?

Sunday, November 7, 2010

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

It was a pretty quiet, uneventful week...

Yep.  Not much happened at all.

Okay, so maybe I'm still just the tiniest bit bitter.


Our "Dumb Ass Of The Week Award" goes to MSNBC President, Phil Griffin...

Keith Olbermann, whose show “Countdown” is the highest rated show on MSNBC, was “indefinitely” suspended by the network on Thursday when it was learned that on October 28th, Olbermann had given $2,400 each to two Democratic candidates.

The network’s position is that such contributions might create an impression of bias on the part of its news staff. 

Apparently, his bosses have never watched Keith’s show and were unaware that the highly-partisan, well-known liberal commentator was, in fact, a highly-partisan, well-known liberal commentator and that’s the reason his show is number one at the left-leaning network among the highly-partisan, liberal audience that watches him every single night. 

Nope.  We certainly can’t have them thinking he might be biased. 

Keith has a new book out.   Let’s see if we can’t help him knock Bush’s book out of the #1 spot.


And speaking of literary tomes…

In his recently released memoir “Decision Points,” Bush states that the “worst moment of his presidency” was when rap star and well-known poor loser Kanye West called him a racist.   Seriously, George?  

As  President of the United States during a time when we’d seen our country attacked and over 3,000 of our countrymen die on 9/11, when Hurricane Katrina had killed and displaced thousands of people in Louisiana and Mississippi, when young men and women under your orders were being blown apart fighting a war against Iraq based on a lie, when the middle class was being bankrupted by the continued transfer of the nation’s wealth to the upper 1 % of the population, being called a name on television by a rapper who didn’t even have a hit album at the time was your “worst moment?”  

My worst moment was when the Supreme Court handed you the election.


Now this is the way to decide an election…

In Chaves County, New Mexico, the race for county commissioner is tied between two
candidates, each with 1,004 votes.  According to a kind of cool state law, the tie must
be broken by a game of chance -- a flip of the coin, the drawing of straws or cutting cards.

If the tie still stands when the final military ballots have been counted, County Clerk Rhoda Coakley has suggested a game of 5-card stud – best hand wins.

Beats the crap out of letting the Supreme Court decide.  


Not-so-fun fact of the week:

Since 1984, California has built only one new college, but 21 new prisons.  Do you feel safer?


And finally, some of the funnier signs from last week’s “Restore Sanity” rally…

Sign Montage from the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear from ekai on Vimeo.

Your turn to sound off…

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

injaynesworld it's "The Morning After..."

Good news:  While the majority of Kentucky voted for homophobe Rand Paul to represent them in the Senate, Lexington elected their first openly gay mayor.   Go figure…

More good news:  Money didn’t buy California where millionaire corporate shills Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorini both had their Visa cards declined.

In Connecticut,  another right-wing millionaire, World Wrestling Entertainment’s Linda McMahon got body slammed by Democrat Dick Blumenthal.  

Still more good news:   Sharon Angle will have lots of time now to figure out the difference between Latinos and Asians. 

The good news doesn’t end:   No surprise here.  In Delaware, Christine O’Donnell lost her bid for the Senate.   People are keeping a close watch on Chris Coons for any signs of a tail and gills.

And in Alaska a Republican is going to win, but it looks like it’s going to be the one Sarah Palin really, really hates.   Now that’s good news!

Okay, I know I’m picking gnat crap out of the pepper here, but truly – I’m just glad it’s over.   The voters, driven by fear, decided once again to go back to their abusive spouse.   We don’t act.  We react.  

But hey – as messed up we are, we do have the right to elect our own leaders, flawed as they are.   There are people in oppressive regimes all over the world who’d give their lives for that opportunity.  

I’m thinking about turning injaynesworld into a cooking blog.  What do you think? 

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