Saturday, June 25, 2011

injaynesworld "Gay Marriage Is A Right..."

Late last night history was made when a Republican-led majority in the New York State Senate passed legislation giving gay couples the right to marry in the Empire State.

Source: Huffington Post

Meanwhile, President Obama, in his own words, repeated that his views on the subject are “still evolving.” Truly one of the most pathetic and weak statements I’ve ever heard uttered by someone who is supposed to be a leader.


The president’s position is that this is an issue for the states to decide for themselves. If that had been President Johnson’s view, blacks might still be riding at the back of the bus. Of course, this is not a state issue. It’s a Constitutional issue, a basic civil rights issue. All our citizens are guaranteed “liberty and justice for all,” not just the ones whose lifestyle we approve of. We pledge to uphold this commitment from the first day we enter school as children and place our hands over our hearts.

So, no, Mr. President. You are dead wrong on this one. The right to marry is not something only affected by state laws. Something as simple as the federal right of married couples to inherit their spouse’s social security – a right denied to gay couples – is just one example of why marriage equality needs to be the law of the land, not just those states that happen to be more “evolved” than others.

May I submit to you, sir, that this is what a leader looks like.

Source:  Huffington Post

Governor Andrew Cuomo campaigned on the promise to bring marriage equality to New York. He fought to make that promise a reality every single day since his election and last night he kept that promise.

Come 2016, this is the guy the Democrats should run for president.

Congratulations New York. Welcome to the 21st century.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

Anyone watch the Republican debate this week?

 What ever happened to the party of Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt and Dwight D. Eisenhower?    All three, but most especially Eisenhower, who expanded Social Security, helped create the Department of Health, Education & Welfare and authorized the biggest public works program in our history – the Interstate Highway System – would be rolling in their graves if they could see what’s happened to the GOP.  Not the “Grand Old Party” anymore.  That’s for sure. 

Hell.  I even long for Nixon. 


But then just when I think there’s no hope for the GOP…

This week’s “Golden Balls” award goes to New York Republican State Senator Roy McDonald who threw his support behind the legislation now pending in the Big Apple to legalize gay marriage.  

In his own splendid words McDonald said, “You get to the point where you evolve in your life where everything isn't black and white, good and bad, and you try to do the right thing.  You might not like that. You might be very cynical about that. Well, f**k it, I don't care what you think. I'm trying to do the right thing.  I'm tired of Republican-Democrat politics. They can take the job and shove it. I come from a blue-collar background. I'm trying to do the right thing, and that's where I'm going with this.”

Why the hell doesn’t this guy run for President?!


Giving a whole new meaning to the term “Stairway To Heaven…”

There’s some controvery brewing over a glass stairway in the newly opened $105 million dollar Franklin County courthouse in Ohio.    While hailed for its aesthetic appeal, it's the view from below allowing people to see up a woman’s skirt that has folks buzzing. 


One has to question the wisdom of constructing this peek-a-boo stairway in the very same building where judges sentence sex offenders.   The word “entrapment” comes to mind. 

Security guards have been told to keep an eye out for people craning their necks, but who’s going to keep an eye on the security guards?


The Beverly Hills mega-mansion built by the late TV producer, Aaron Spelling has finally sold…


Asking price was $150 mil, but Candy Spelling settled for a paltry $85 mil.  The buyer is 22-year-old Formula 1 heiress Petra Ecclestone, pictured here with billionaire daddy, Bernie Ecclestone.  

Rick Hilton, father of his own little heiress, Paris, brokered the deal pocketing a tidy few million for himself, as well. 

Yes, these girls are definitely members of “The Lucky Sperm Club” and I hope they get their dads something nice for Father’s Day.   


Like maybe this lovely pair of sperm and egg cufflinks

What dad wouldn’t proudly wear those?


And for frustrated dads everywhere who just can’t get their kids to go to sleep...

Happy Father’s Day

Thursday, June 16, 2011

injaynesworld "The Times They Are A Changin'..."

Knowing my resistance to change, the Universe usually gives me ample time to get used to the idea, especially when there’s a big one coming my way.  It begins with a subtle shifting as that which is no longer serving my highest good quietly fades like a waning moon, while new rays of promise start to peek out just above the horizon.

Sometime last year, I began longing to “travel light,” which was odd because I’d never longed to travel at all.  I’ve always been “The Reluctant Traveler,” both literarily and figuratively.  Keeping change at bay made me feel like I was in control and, as a child of an alcoholic, for most of my life nothing had been more important.  

When a growing urge to purge began earlier this year, I didn’t know what it meant, but I followed its direction and filled a dumpster with years of crap that I soon realized had been cluttering my life, weighing me down and holding me back. 

For the last 17 years I’ve rented a house on a lovely farm.   With three bedrooms and two baths all to myself, it’s the largest place I’d ever lived in and the most expensive.  But at the time I moved here, I was a successful TV writer, I could afford it, and so I indulged myself in the luxury of having a separate office, as well as a guest room for family and friends.   It has been my little patch of paradise all these years and I’ve often said they’d have to carry my cold carcass out the door or call the SWAT team because  I was never leaving.

If there’s one thing guaranteed to make the Universe laugh it’s the word “never.”

Change happens whether we resist it or not.  In recent years, staying in this home has become a financial struggle, increasing until it started to dim the joy I’ve felt here and finally threatening to extinguish it altogether.   I always thought I’d be devastated if I ever had to leave, but instead I find myself surprisingly prepared and at peace about it. 

In September, I’ll be moving to a friend’s much more affordable, one-room guest house.   Yes, that would be one room, not one bedroom.   It’s a cozy, round cottage high atop a hill with unobstructed views of the entire valley – very private and peaceful – a  little temple in the trees. 

Whenever I’ve sought out spiritual guidance, prefacing my request with “for the highest good of all,” the Universe has not only come through with what I was seeking, but with something even better.

So I’m choosing to let go of any fear of change and instead stepping through the door to this next chapter of my life with faith, joy, and trust. 

There are so many wonderful people that I’ve come to know through the writing of this blog, people I would love to meet “in real life.” With this move, I’m beginning to my shed my resistance to travel and open myself up to those opportunities that would not have been financially possible before.     

I guess you could say I’m limiting my living space, but expanding my world.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

Paging Dr. Drew…

Anthony Weiner has asked for a leave of absence from Congress so he can enter treatment for “looking for love in all the wrong places.” 

Calls for his resignation came fast and furious (pun intended) after information surfaced on Friday that Weiner had also been exchanging tweets with a 17-year-old Delaware girl.  At his news conference earlier in the week, Weiner had been asked if he had corresponded with any girls who were underage and replied that while that wasn’t his intent, all he could go by was what they put in their profiles.

Because no one ever lies in those.

The congressman denies that there was anything “explicit or indecent” about his exchanges with the Delaware teen, but then he seems to have a very loose interpretation along those lines.

I sincerely wish him well.   Though, as yet, I don’t believe any cure has been found for stupidity. 


Meanwhile, Weiner’s wife might want to take a page from Elizabeth Edwards’ playbook…

Revenge – It doesn’t get any SUH-WEETER than this...  

"Keep smiling, douchebag.  Your ass is mine."

It’s been reported that just before she died, Elizabeth recorded a secret videotape detailing everything she knew about John’s affair with Reille Hunter and his illegal attempts to cover it up and… wait for it... upon her death had it delivered to the very prosecutors who have now charged him with multiple violations of campaign finance laws – nailing his cheating ass as he prepares to stand trial on charges that could land him behind bars.  


Talk about your death-bed fuck you.  My admiration for Elizabeth knows no bounds.


Nothing says “Happy Birthday” to a 7-year-old like a boob job…

Sarah Burge, aka “Human Barbie,” gave daughter Poppy a $10,000 voucher for breast implants to be redeemed when she’s 16, the legal age for such surgery in Britain.  “Poppy begged me for a boob job,” the mother of the year explained.

Poppy herself couldn’t be happier:  "I can't wait to be like Mummy with big boobs. They're pretty.”

And really, isn’t that what we all just want for our children?  For them to be happy.

The 50-year-old has reportedly spent more than $800,000 on her own plastic surgeries and plans to have her daughter watch her next series of treatments. 

Won’t little Poppy have some fun stuff to share during “show and tell” time?

“I get angry when strangers say I'm a bad mother.…”

Now why would anyone say that?

“I'm just supporting her and making her dreams come true."

Of course you are.  And I'm sure her shrink will thank you in the coming years for putting his kids through college.

This week’s “You Can’t Make This Shit Up Award” goes to the fine state of Kansas
Blind as the proverbial bat, but still want to exercise your God-given, Second Amendment guaranteed,  right-wing-nut-case-preserved right to bear arms?   Come on down!
Changes to that state’s concealed-carry law now prevent the state from denying gun permits if applicants "suffer from a physical infirmity which prevents the safe handling of a weapon."  Gone is the requirement that those wanting to renew their licenses had to take a test to show they could hit at least 18 of 25 targets from distances of nine to 30 feet.
Kansas Democrat Paul Davis said, “You certainly hope it doesn’t take some kind of tragedy to see that we perhaps have made some mistakes in how we’ve changed this law.”
While his Republican colleague Richard Carlson, said, “Law-abiding citizens should be able to decide for themselves whether they are capable of carrying a concealed weapon.”
People applying for gun permits for the first time are still required to take the close-range proficiency test, but if Carlson has his way, that pesky requirement will be eliminated, as well.
“We tend to look for all the reasons why someone should not be qualified to carry concealed, but actually I think we should look for the reasons why they should be qualified,” he said.
Damn right!  I know I feel safer knowing there are blind fuckers out there packing heat. 
And finally, if only Anthony Weiner had purchased the penis disguise kit, we all might have been saved from the events of the past week…

With Father’s Day right around the corner, this non-traditional gift is sure to delight the entire family.  

If you leave a comment Tinkerbell will live.

Monday, June 6, 2011

injaynesworld "Testosterone Is The Stupid Drug..."

With apologies to my many bright, lovely male followers, but really guys, even you have got to be questioning the antics of some of your gender.

Today Anthony Weiner admitted that the photo in the now infamous tweet was indeed his penis and copped to other photos featuring him bare-chested that he had also sent to women on the web.  One of those women has come forward with this statement:  “I have more than 200 messages from him and they’re all explicit in nature.”  The woman, who had volunteered as a Democratic campaign worker, also said that she’d had phone sex with the Congressman.

What someone does in their private life is none of my business and I’m not interested in judging them.   However, when that person is a public figure, not to mention someone I respect, I’m deeply disappointed and angry and I have to ask Representative Weiner:

Do you have a political death wish?    How can someone as bright as you do something so unbelievably stupid?  How is it possible for any public figure in this day and age to think he can post compromising photos of himself on the web or send them by e-mail and have that not be discovered?   How?

There are hordes of people out there who make their living discovering this shit and it’s only getting easier for them to do so.  

I don’t get it.  Truly.   I’m at a complete loss here. 

And it’s always men who do this crazy crap.   Again, guys, enlighten me if you possibly can because I want to understand.   Why the obsession with photographing your junk and then e-mailing it to a woman?   I think I speak for my entire gender when I say if you want to impress us, flowers will still do the job.

When was the last time any female public figure sent photos of her vagina out over the web to impress a guy?    We don’t do that.   So, again, WTF?

Watching Congressman Weiner’s news conference today was painful and sad.   I consider him a good man, a strong voice for working class people against the many voices that speak for the rich and powerful.   And now that very important voice has been diminished.

So, while I have no judgment about what anyone does in their personal life, when you become a member of the United States Congress you’re on my payroll and, at the very least, I expect you to not self-destruct.   

Sunday, June 5, 2011

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

Weinergate continues…

The media is all atwitter over a tweet showing a bulging crotch allegedly belonging to  Representative Anthony Weiner (D-NY).   While vehemently denying sending the salacious image, when asked if the photo was or was not his manly member, Weiner’s unbelievably dumb reply was “I can’t say with certitude.”  

Seriously?  That’s the best you can come up with?  Trying to convince us that you’re not familiar enough with “little Anthony” to recognize him when you see him?    Look, if that impressive boy in the photo is yours just own up to it, and when they ask why you didn’t admit it in the first place tell them you didn’t want to make John Boehner jealous. 

But in the future, sir, may I suggest that if you want to take photos of dicks you simply turn your lens on Republicans in Congress who are trying to kill Medicare?


And on the subject of social media hazards, check your privacy settings…

A young girl in Berlin didn’t and ended up with 1500 strangers at her house  after sending out a birthday party invitation to what she thought were just a few friends on her Facebook page.  Oops. 

After over 15,000 RSVP’d, her understandably alarmed parents cancelled the party, called police and hired security for the house, but clearly not everyone got the message.   Several people showed up with presents and cake, chanting for Thessa to come out of the house.

My favorite part?   Police arrested one frolicker for ripping the Mercedes logo off his patrol car.  Cops in Germany drives Mercedes?   A VW won’t do?   Our guys get stuck with Crown Victorias.   


Giving a whole new meaning to the word “headstone…”

A New Jersey woman was rushed to the hospital after a gravestone toppled over on her leg while she and a male friend visiting a gravesite were suspected of having sex .  Police tactfully report that “extra-curricular activities” may have taken place, but declined to elaborate. 

I can only guess the traditional spitting or pissing on the grave just weren’t enough to convey the full range of feelings she had for this particular dearly departed.   


Good news for service workers…

And for the rest of us, as well, because who wants a sick waiter breathing all over your food. 

The state of Connecticut has become the first state to pass a bill mandating paid sick leave for the state’s hundreds of thousands of services workers, including waiters, fast-food cooks, hair stylists and nursing home aides who receive hourly wages. 

Prior to this, these minimum-wage workers couldn’t afford to take time off when they were sick.  Ever had the shampoo gal sneeze in your face?

The bill applies only to businesses with 50 or more employees, but it’s a start.  With more than 40 million American workers without a single day of paid sick leave and the general public paying the price in contracted illnesses, hopefully this very sensible legislation will catch on in other states.  


Palin’s back and the media are being soundly criticized for following after her like a horny teenage boy just hoping she’ll let him cop a feel.  This week that boy went home with a smile on his face.

A history lesson from Sarah Palin…

And she just can’t understand the perception out there that she doesn’t read.

For ongoing Palinisms or to just make up your own visit the fun new hashtag created by the staff of The Daily Show:  AccordingtoPalin

Your comments are the lime in my Corona...

Thursday, June 2, 2011

injaynesworld we revisit "What's That Sucking Sound...?"

A little bit of my old humor to hopefully amuse you, while I see if I can lighten up my life a bit and refresh my funny bone...

This morning, I lost my internet.  One minute it was there and the next it was gone.

I sat perfectly still for the longest time, just staring at the computer screen completely in denial.  Then I realized something really quite frightening.   My mind was a total blank.   I looked around inside and there wasn’t a thought to be found.

The umbilical cord to my source had been cut and I was vanishing fast.   I panicked and hit every button I could find. 


Perspiration mixed with tears ran down my face.  Animal-like moans of distress began emanating from deep in my throat.  

Then I heard a gentle, soothing voice, tiny and from a distance, that I recognized as my own.  “You existed before the Internet, Jayne.” 

Before the Internet?   

What a concept.

But, of course, the voice was right.   I had existed for a good many years before the Internet, although so completely had this technology taken over my life that I struggled to recall them.

Slowly, bits of memories began to float back… There had been face-to-face conversations with people where we asked each other not “How R U?”, but “How are you?” and then we listened and sometimes even hugged – actually putting our arms around each other, not just (((   ))).

I didn’t spend hours friending people electronically that I’d never meet in person.  I had real-life friends.   I still have real-life friends.   Why don’t I make more time for them?

Tweet was a sound that a bird made.   Birds… Yes, I remember now.  

The phone’s ring used to cheer me.   It was almost always somebody I wanted to talk to.   When did I start to be annoyed at it for interrupting my busy online life?

And how many updates do I really need from CNN?   Will my world come to an end if I don’t find out about the latest sex scandal, salmonella outbreak, or NBA standings before the evening news? 

I recall when my credit cards weren’t maxed out because if I wanted to buy something I actually had to go to the trouble of driving to a store, finding a parking spot, and shopping for it.  

In my own home I was pretty much safe from the temptations of advertisers as long as I didn’t turn on the radio or TV.  Now they’re stalking me.   There’s this one scary old dude who wants to sell me a mortgage and follows me everywhere.  “The Loft” thinks I’m interested in their spring line, and how did Price Grabber know I needed a new camera? 

Gone are the days when people only knew things about me that I wanted them to know.  Now I can be Googled – and without benefit of lubrication, too.

I took a deep breath and dried my tears.  It’s a beautiful day.  I’ll take a walk.   Maybe call a friend to meet for coffee.  I’ve been meaning to wash my car.   And it’s spring – time to plant the veggie garden.   There’s no end to the things I can do!   

Then it was back.   A little screen apologizing for the disruption.  My open pages restored, there they all were again – my people.   Look at them.   Those smiling avatars.  We’ve shared so much. 

“Back away from the computer, Jayne!”

Wow.  What happened to your gentle, soothing voice?

“Don’t make me bitch-slap your sorry ass, girlfriend.”

 I can’t just vanish on everyone.  What will they think?   I’m just going to say good-bye, explain my epiphany – the garden, the birds, the friends –

Oh, look.   An e-mail.  Sale at Nordy’s.  Shoes 50% off…  New followers on Twitter… Comments on my Facebook page…

I’ll just peek.  What could it hurt one last time?   I’m out of sunscreen anyway.   It’ll only take a minute.

Hey, what’s that sucking sound…? 

Ever wonder where the time goes?

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