Sunday, February 28, 2010

injaynesworld here's your "Sunday Recap..."

Yet another nipple sighting…

This time it was actress Elizabeth Hurley’s wayward nipple on display, and apparently it’s freakishly large, too.   Look at the size of that “X”. 

Okay, I’m done with nipples now.  I promise.  


Starting off with week’s “You Can’t Make This Shit Up” Award… 

Nothing says “don’t mess with my kid” like a bottle of malt liquor and a sword.

The mother of an elementary school student in Memphis drank a 40-ounce bottle of malt liquor before reportedly running through the school halls threatening to cut the parents of another kid who’d been in a spitting match with her own little darling the previous day. 

Officers who arrived on the scene retrieved a black cane that concealed the blade and “Ninja Mom” has been charged with assault.    


On a sad note... 

Men with small penises everywhere are mourning the loss of the Hummer after a deal between GM and a Chinese company to acquire the SUV brand fell through.  Sales of the fuel-guzzling symbol-of-excess peaked at 71,524 in 2006, but collapsed when gas prices shot above $4 a gallon in the summer of 2008.  In December 2009, only 325 Hummers were sold. 

Take heart, guys.  There’s always the Corvette.


Our Douchebag of the Week Award goes to… What a surprise!  A Republican! 

Jim Bunning, the Senator from Kentucky, succeeded in blocking Senate action needed to prevent an estimated 1.2 million Americans from prematurely losing their unemployment benefits beginning on Monday. Keep in mind that the unemployment rate in Bunning’s home state is 10.7 percent.  In one county alone, it’s at 21.4%. 

As Democratic senators asked again and again for unanimous consent for a vote on a 30-day extension Thursday night, Bunning refused to go along and, at one point during the debate, even complained of missing a basketball game.

When Senator Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.) pleaded with him to consider the people who would be hurt and drop his objection, Bunning replied: "Tough shit."


And before any soul-sucking son-of-bitch goes all “screw those free-loaders” on me, stop and consider this:   That’s 1.2 million people who won’t be putting that money immediately back into their local economies next week. 


Finally, there was huge news everywhere this week:  the Olympics, the Health Summit, the tragedy at Sea World, a massive earthquake in Chile, but perhaps nothing so big – so important – so newsworthy as…

Ellen’s debut on the "American Idol" judges' panel.

Personally, I liked her.  I thought she was funny and warm, while being pretty astute in her critiques.   What about you?   Like her?  Hate her?  Let’s see a show of hands…

I perform unnatural acts for comments…

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