Sunday, March 28, 2010

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

The California Marijuana Legalization Initiative has made the November ballot…

… and I’m doing the happy dance.   Not because I care to indulge anymore.  Been there, done that.  I once painted my white cat lovely hues of spring while tripping on the wonder weed.   When my mother was dying of cancer, I would bring her grass and we’d get high and listen to the Grateful Dead.   I just realized the irony of that statement, but it’s the God’s honest truth.   

Banning marijuana outright has been a costly and ineffective disaster, fueling a massive, increasingly violent underground economy, wasting billions in scarce law enforcement resources, and making criminals out of countless otherwise law-abiding citizens. 

If approved, the measure would legalize, tax and regulate marijuana in much the same way that the state now controls and taxes alcohol, generating an estimated $1.4 billion a year for our broke asses.  That’s a lot of teachers’ salaries. 

To those who would make the argument that legalization will give their children easy access to the wonder weed, I say you should be far more concerned about their easy access to junk food.   This is the first generation in modern history that is expected to live a shorter life than their parents due to childhood obesity.  

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.


For those of you on “Mistress Watch,” here’s the latest count:

Jesse James – 4
Tiger Woods – 16 (Yep, another one’s surfaced.)
John Edwards – Still only 1 (What a slacker.) 

Cries for the heads of these cheaters has been heard from all corners of the country, but one North Carolina woman took a different approach…  

Cynthia Shackleford decided to go after her husband’s mistress in a court of law and a jury awarded her $9 million dollars for her efforts.  Suing under the state’s “alienation of affections” law, Shackleford said the woman had used her “luring ways” to go after her husband of 33 years.  "I had plenty of proof from e-mails, phone records, and spending that she alienated him from me.  It's like those Lifetime movies that you see."

As a former writer of some of those Lifetime movies, I’ve got to say she nailed it. 


This week’s “You Can’t Make This Shit Up” Award goes to Illinois dairy farmer, Tony Goltstein…

See that eerie, alien-looking landscape behind Tony?   Those are giant bubbles inflated with – No.  Not the hyperbole produced by Faux News, but something very similar – the gas released by 21 million gallons of decomposing cow manure. 

Goldstein sucked back on a cigarette as he explained that the black, plastic liner designed to keep the manure from seeping into the soil had detached and risen to the surface, and he can’t afford to fix it.  But fear not.  This man has a plan.    He and his 19-year-old son want to use a knife to pop the gas bubbles open from a paddleboat.

Now, needless to say, his neighbors aren’t taking too kindly to this idea.  "If that thing back there blows, God help us all for miles."

Apparently, state officials felt the need to caution him that he probably doesn’t want to be smoking when he initiates his plan. 

Spoil sports.   I had a Darwin Award with his name all over it. 


Yes, health care reform passed this week and, predictably the Republicans went bat-shit crazy – not that they had far to go…

Among the more interesting amendments they came up with to try to stall passage was this brainchild proposed by Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.):  Seriously concerned about the possible threat of federally-funded woodies for child molesters and rapists, Coburn proposed prohibiting the coverage of Viagra for those charged with such crimes.  

I suppose we really must applaud Coburn for his attention to detail, but personally I would have pressed for the inclusion of  federally-funded castration in these cases.


Finally, this week our “Golden Balls” Award goes to Marcelas Owens seen here with President Obama as the health care reform bill is signed into law.

On March 11th, this brave 11-year-old sat before Congress and told the story of how his 27-year-old single mom needlessly died from pulmonary hypertension because when she lost her job, she lost her health insurance and, with a pre-existing condition, her ability to get new coverage.  The health care bill just passed may have prevented this.  It provides for state-run insurance pools for those in frail health with premiums much lower than that charged by private insurers.

Marcelas had this to say to Congress: “You can’t let any other kid’s mom die like my mom did.”

Glenn Beck had this to say:  “If this bill passes, this is the end of American prosperity.”

Not for multi-millionaires like you and Rush, Glenn.  You’ll be just fine.   For many of the rest of us, however – most notably the working class on whose backs this nation was built – prosperity began slipping way with the advent of Reagan’s “trickle down” theory and we all know exactly what that warm, yellow liquid trickling down was.

It’s often said that a civilized nation is judged by how it treats the weakest among it.  This week we took a small step toward being a more compassionate nation.

Thank you, Marcelas.   Your mama would be proud.  

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