President Obama began a historic second term as the first black president of the United States, only to be nearly upstaged by buzz about Michelle’s bangs. And yes, I like them.
We all
know the President is a helluva orator, but he hit it out of the proverbial
park this time with his inclusion of the LGBT community in his pledge to make
“We the People” a meaningful statement of equality for all, as well as his rebuke
of Paul Ryan’s oft-stated belief that we of the Social Security generation are
a bunch of “takers.”
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| Photo: Larry Downing, AP |
The
21-gun salute following could have easily been the sound of right-wing heads
exploding as they called his speech combative and chastised him for not using
it as an opportunity to “reach across the aisle.” Okay, look.
The President, much to the frustration of progressives like me, just
spent four damn years reaching across the aisle and all he got was a handful of
spit. The only reaching across the aisle
I want to see from him in the next four years is his foot strategically placed
up the GOP’s collective posterior.
***
The
Pentagon announced it was lifting its ban on women in combat.
This would be news to the women who have been killed and injured in combat for the last 10 years, but now it’s official. We can
risk our lives in service to this country right alongside the guys, while
continuing to earn approximately 77 cents for every dollar a man earns when we
get back home. Yay for us!
 |
| Photo: Paula Bonstein, Getty |
Meanwhile,
Hillary Clinton, no stranger to combat, gave testimony on Benghazi and beat
back a bevy of stupid white men eager to hear themselves talk. To
their credit, many right-wing pundits had the same opinion of the Committee
selected to question the Secretary, especially doddering old fool, John McCain, who would
suck at the tit of Honey Boo Boo’s mother if it would get his face on TV. As for Hillary, she came, she saw, she
kicked butt. Hillary ’16!
***
Filibuster
reform gets its balls busted…
We had
a chance of real filibuster reform this week, but instead got the equivalent of
J-ello, coincidentally of the same consistency as Harry Reid’s spine.
It used
to be that if a senator wanted to filibuster a bill he or she had to stand
their asses up there and talk till they dropped or till they felt their point
had been made like the great James Stewart in “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington,” but
in 1975 that all changed with the advent of the “virtual filibuster.” Swear to God.
That’s what it’s called.
Sure,
Reid got some concessions from Republicans, who pinky-swore they’d be good from
now on, but his reason for seeking compromise, “to preserve the health of the
institution,” is flawed as hell. While
not yet the pus-pool known as the House of Representatives, the Senate’s need
for a good colon cleanse is no secret.
There are certain things that simply must be expelled in order for
a body to function and in the case of the body of the Senate, the power of the
minority party to hold up the elected majority’s ability to do the People’s
business is one of them.
***
Speaking
of Congress, this guy should fit right in…
When a
Florida couple heard footsteps on their roof, the husband went out to
investigate and found this guy, buck naked, looking down at him. Gregory Matthew Bruni then leaped from the roof, knocking said hubby to the ground, and ran
into the house where he pulled the TV from the wall, sucked out the contents of
a vacuum bag, defecated on their floor and, when the wife pulled a gun on him, began
masturbating.
And
still I would vote for him over Michelle Bachmann.
***
Oh,
yeah. And some dumb jock’s fake
girlfriend died.
***
Finally,
Happy Birthday Ellen!
…who
turned 55 on Saturday. A little walk down history-making TV lane...
