injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

“Vote for me.  Tits are free!”

Now there’s a campaign slogan to celebrate.  Okay, I made it up, but the story behind it is true. 

A Venezuelan politician is holding an unusual raffle to raise campaign cash. The grand prize: breast implants. For $6 a ticket, donors get the chance to win the pricey operation free of charge.

Gustavo Rojas, who is running as an alternate for the National Assembly in the Sept. 26^th   elections, conceded that the prize for his fund-raising effort may be a little unusual, but “It's just like raffling off a TV set or a telephone,” he said.

Seriously, dude?  Ya think so?

###

Speaking of boobs…

In an interview on CBS' "The Early Show," Levi Johnston said that he wishes that he hadn't issued the apology to Palin for telling lies about her because he’s “Never lied about anything… and that apology kind of makes me sound like a liar.”

Johnstone needn’t worry about being thought of as a liar.  He’s recently filed papers to run for mayor of Wasilla – Sarah’s old gig.   As a politician, being a liar is pretty much a prerequisite. 

Johnston said he hopes to be a better mayor than Palin.   

Nothing like setting a nice low bar for yourself.

###

Elin Woods finally speaks out…

How many of you have been divorced?   Raise your hands…  And how many of you went through hell?   Hands up.   One, two three… A bunch of you?   Yeah, I thought so.

Now for the big question.   How many of you walked away with $100,000,000 for your trouble?

Look, I’ve got nothing bad to say about Elin.   I’m sure she did go through hell for nine lousy months.   So let’s do the math:  $100 mil divided by nine is… Oh, screw it.  You get my drift.   Plus she gets to look like that. 

If that’s hell, where do I sign up? 

###

And now some women who truly did go through hell...

In 1971, August 26^th was designated by Congress to be “Women’s Equality Day” commemorating the 1920 passage of the 19^th Amendment granting women the right to vote.  A whole bevy of ballsy broads marched and fought for this right, which many of us take for granted, or worse – ignore altogether.  They were spat upon, beaten, jailed, and thrown into psych wards.  So this November, let’s honor their efforts by getting our asses to the polls and voting.

I know my (size 4) ass will be there. 

 

###

Saturday was the 47^th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King’s famous “I’ve Got a Dream” speech in front of the Lincoln Memorial…

From that speech:  

“And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream.  It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream…. that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed:  ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men are created equal.’   Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.  We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline…”

From the two people the Tea Party holds up as their icons:

Glenn Beck:   “President Obama is a guy who has a deep-seated hatred for white people or the white culture. This guy is, I believe, a racist."

Sarah Palin in response to Dr. Laura’s use of the “N” word:   “Don’t retreat.  Reload.”

If it's true that we are judged by the company we keep, I find the Tea Party's protest that they are not racists to be somewhat lacking in credibility.   But hey -- that's just me. 

###

And finally…

Naked man attempts suicide by hay baler after learning Bristol Palin may be joining “Dancing With The Stars…”

Okay.  Your turn…

injaynesworld a "Guest Post From Pakistan..."

 .

As we all know, the blogosphere connects us with people from all over the world like no other medium.  Some we're fortunate enough to meet in person, some we may never meet, but call friend nonetheless.  Ayesha, a young mother living in Pakistan, is just such a friend to me.   She has been a reader of IJW since the beginning.  I would always smile when I saw the red dot in Islamabad show up on my Visitors Map and then worry about her when it would vanish for a while.

The devastating flooding in Pakistan has received little media coverage.   We are too busy, it would seem, focusing on Dr. Laura, the mosque haters and other such distractions.  One-fifth of Pakistan is now under water.   I've invited my friend Ayesha to tell you about it.   Please make her feel welcome.

 “Born and bred in the US and currently surviving Pakistan.”  That was my response whenever asked where I was from – in the US because I was brown and in Pakistan because I spoke English with an “American accent.”  The "currently surviving Pakistan” part has now turned into 15 years – or half of my life (I think I just dated myself in front of the whole internet!).   Fifteen years of learning to live with chaos, power outages, beggars, corruption, bombings…15 years of learning to live with humility as I see people around me with so little live so ‘large’ or see the generosity of the human spirit unfold in front of me as again these same people manage to give so much back to their brethren. This beautiful but full of contradictions land that I now call home – this land with its beautiful mountains (six of the top fourteen peaks are found here), valleys and lakes (highest lake in the world is also here), pristine white beaches – the Pakistan no one gets to see in the media or the world at large. The Pakistan which lives, breathes, goes to work, worries about the economy, their children’s education, the next mortgage payment – much like people all over the world.

That Pakistan now that is drowning. Literally. The superlatives are surpassing in their direness: “the worst disaster I’ve seen” says UN Chief Ban Ki-Moon. With 20 million (yes, that’s 20,000,000) people now being affected,  the United Nation’s Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA) stated that the flood disaster had eclipsed the scale of the devastating 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, the 2005 earthquake in Pakistan and the January 2010 earthquake in Haiti combined. Yes, combined.  As you and I try to wrap our heads around that, more villages are wiped out and more people are being displaced. People have fled with just the clothes on their back.  Their dreams are on hold until the flood water recedes, which is already churning out a spate of water-borne diseases that are bound to spread as fast as the flooding, if not faster. The darkest hour is before dawn they say…and dawn seems very far away right now.

My appeal to you is is to please, please, PLEASE donate however much you can, whatever you can. Whether it’s sending an SMS:    

(http://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/mgive-mobile-donation-campaigns-established-to-assist-flood-victims-in-pakistan-100118524.html)   

Or donating to the various charitable institutions working for the victims:    

The Acumen Fund:  
http://blog.acumenfund.org/2010/08/13/the-pakistan-floods-how-you-can-help/
    

Human Development Fund: http://www.hdf.com/dotnetnuke/HowYouCanHelp/FloodAppeal2010/tabid/183/Default.aspx
   

UNHCR: http://www.unhcr.org/emergency/pakistan/global_landing.html
   

United Nation’s World Food Programme: Donations are tax deductible for number of countries:  https://secure.my-websites.org/supporter/donatenow.do?n=gbss&dfdbid=1044253

   
International Medical Corps:  https://www.internationalmedicalcorps.org/SSLPage.aspx?pid=1645

   
Please donate. Do it for these people:   

   
An army officer helps rescue a two month old baby. 

A man marooned by flood waters, alongside his livestock, waves towards an Army helicopter for relief handouts in the Rajanpur district of Pakistan's Punjab province on August 9, 2010. (REUTERS/Stringer)

A girl floats her brother across flood waters whilst salvaging valuables from their flood ravaged home on August 7, 2010 in the village of Bux Seelro near to Sukkur, Pakistan. (Daniel Berehulak/Getty Images)

A man wades through flood waters towards a naval boat while evacuating his children in Sukkur, located in Pakistan's Sindh province August 8, 2010. (REUTERS/Akhtar Soomro)

Villagers wade through flood waters with their livestock while looking for higher grounds in Sukkur, Pakistan on August 8, 2010. Pakistani navy boats sped across miles of flood waters on Sunday as the military took a lead role in rescuing survivors from a devastating disaster that has killed 1,600 people and left two million homeless. (REUTERS/Akhtar Soomro)

Residents stand near the path of flowing flood waters the Muzaffargarh district of Pakistan's Punjab province on August 9, 2010. (REUTERS/Adrees Latif)

A boy waits for food handouts with other flood victims as they take refuge at a makeshift camp in Sukkur, in Pakistan's Sindh province August 8, 2010. (REUTERS/Akhtar Soomro)

A Pakistani crosses a canal with the help of cable wire on a damaged bridge, which was washed away by heave flood in Ghazi Gat in central Pakistan on Monday, Aug. 9, 2010. (AP Photo/K.M. Chaudary)

Pakistani villagers chase after relief supplies dropped from an army helicopter in a heavy flood-hit area of Mithan Kot, in central Pakistan, Monday, Aug. 9, 2010. (AP Photo/Khalid Tanveer)

Pakistani flood survivors walk in the flooded area of Bssera village, 60 km south west of Multan, on August 10, 2010. (Arif Ali/AFP/Getty Images)

Flood victims are rescued by boat in Baseera, a village located in the Muzaffargarh district of Pakistan's Punjab province on August 10, 2010. (REUTERS/Stringer)

Picture Source: Boston Globe

Thank you for taking the time to read this post from my friend, Ayesha.  She is one of the fortunate ones living in the northern part of Pakistan and is safe -- for now.  

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

So many issues, so little time, and so many talented people expressing them better than I ever could.

We Americans are so easily distracted from the real problems facing us, something the powers that have created those problems know and take full advantage of.  This week the corporate media has whipped us into a frenzy about whether an Islamic community center, which happens to include a small mosque, should be built in a graffiti-strewn neighborhood filled with nudie bars and hookers a couple blocks away from Ground Zero.  

We often forget that the rest of the world, which includes over one billion Muslims, is watching us.  Or maybe, in our arrogance, we just don't care.   Frankly, I'm humiliated that this small and very ugly side of America could be what anyone in the rest of the world believes represents us all. 

And when our President tries to remind us -- and the world -- of what America stands for, he's attacked.

Somewhere Bin Laden is laughing.

Comments tell me I'm not alone...
 

injaynesworld we are "Guilty As Sin..."

As a Catholic, I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn’t feel guilty about something.  Oh sure, I say I’m a “recovering Catholic,” but anyone who knows anything about Catholicism knows what a contradiction in terms that is.   One never actually recovers.  The sight of a nun can still cause me a nasty case of hives. 

 

When it comes to the bestowing of guilt and who gets the championship ring, there is a fine line between Catholics and Jews.   I can only speak from my experience with the former when I say that sticking a symbol of a brutally murdered dead guy over an impressionable young child’s bed and telling her “He died for your sins” kind of messes with a kid for life.  

Then there was that confession thing.   It was hard to come up with new material every single week.   I mean, what kind of really bad stuff could a little kid do?   Still, I knew I was a sinner so the pressure was on and I’d often just make stuff up.   Father Timothy eventually became suspicious and gave me 40 Hail Marys for lying to a priest.  

There were so many sins to keep track of.   Mortal sins, the big guys, which assured you were going to hell, and then a whole host of “venial” sins, which pretty much covered everything else anyone could possibly do.   All this was meant to keep one on the straight and narrow path in a world where Satan was waiting around every corner with a cocktail and his recruitment pitch.

A little guilt is not such a bad thing though.   Without a sense of guilt one has no conscience and without a conscience one becomes a sociopath like Dick Cheney and the members of Congress who have sold their souls to Wall Street.   We might have a much better world, we’d certainly have a better government, had every one of them had their little prepubescent asses enrolled in Catholic school with nuns who could reduce you to a shivering puddle of bodily fluids with one stern look.  

While I still talk to God, I no longer go to church or confession.  I guess you could say I’ve cut out the middle man.   But I do have a strong sense of right and wrong, and firmly believe that karma will kick my ass when that line is crossed.   I have empathy for those less fortunate, those challenged with difficulties and struggling in ways that I, who have been so blessed, cannot begin to truly understand.   I believe we are all created equal, neither sinners nor saints, and that we are our brother’s keeper.  

I believe Jesus was a socialist and if he came back today preaching feeding the poor and healing the sick he’d be ripped to shreds by the same fear machines who are doing their very best to pit us against each other every single day.  

So no.  A little guilt is not such a bad thing.   It provides us with a moral compass and, because we have been given free will, we have the choice of whether or not to follow its direction.

On my death bed, I will ask for a priest to provide Last Rites, the act of absolution or forgiveness for all my sins.  What the hell?  It couldn’t hurt.  And I think Father Timothy would be proud. 

Last week I asked for your votes in a contest I’d entered at the Recovering Catholic Girls website.   They were looking for a new tagline and my entry was:  “… serving guilt with a twist of lime.”   Well, I won!   Thank you to all who voted for me.

Now leave a comment.  You don’t want to feel guilty do you?    

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

Steven Slater - America’s new hero…

And that statement in and of itself is a sad commentary on our desperation for heroes these days.

By now you all know him as the airline employee with anger management issues who cursed out a plane of passengers, grabbed a couple of beers, slid down the emergency shoot and joined the growing ranks of the unemployed – any number of which would kill to have his job, or any job for that matter. 

I will give him this.   At least he grabbed a beer instead of an automatic weapon, but is that really enough to award him “hero” status?   Say hello to your newest reality star, America.   I fully expect to be seeing him strutting his stuff next season on “Dancing With the Stars, ” following a camp-out with Sarah and Kate, of course.

Frankly, I like my heroes just a little bit less creepy looking. 

###

A true American hero…

Annie Oakley was born 150 years ago Friday.  She could split a card in two edge-wise with a single shot from 30 paces, shoot cigarettes out of her husband’s mouth and dimes out of the air.  And she didn’t need an AK-47 either.  

Back then she toured with Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show, earning a modest income as an entertainer.  Today she’d have endorsement contracts from Nike and Gatorade.  

Annie traveled around the world, becoming America’s first female superstar and, one might argue, one of its first feminists, as well.   She became a spokeswoman for allowing women to serve in the armed forces, including in combat positions and believed young women should go to college, even putting her own money where her mouth was to send them there.  

I’d like to think we’d have been friends.  

###

And since the theme this week seems to be heroes…

I think we can all agree that there may be no greater heroes than the 9/11 responders who ran into those burning buildings and then sifted through the toxic rubble for weeks in search of survivors and fallen comrades.  No Gatorade endorsements for them.   Just lingering, chronic health problems born from their bravery.  

This week Republicans nixed a bill that would pay for their medical care.   And why?   Because it was going to be paid for by closing a tax loophole that had allowed foreign multi-national corporations in tax-haven countries to avoid paying taxes on income earned in the U.S.   In other words,  closing down those Cayman Island P.O. Boxes.

The Republicans chose to protect their corporate cronies and give the big “fuck you” to the 9/11 heroes.   Why am I not surprised?  And for that reason they deserve this week’s “Steaming Pile of Shit” award. 

###

While we’re on the subject of feces (because I’m nothing if not the master of the segue)…

Road rage took a particularly nasty turn this week when a  Pennsylvania woman smeared a dirty diaper on the rear window of another woman's car after getting into a dispute while they were both stuck in traffic.  A word to the wise:  Be careful who you give crap to.   They might give it back. 

No word on if the baby was still wearing the diaper at the time.

###

And because I seem to be on a roll here…

First “anchor babies” and now “terror babies.”   For all their professing to be the party of “family values,” the right-wingers sure seem to be piling a lot of hate on babies these days.   Their latest Faux News-induced delusion goes something like this:

Al Qaeda plans to send pregnant women to the U.S. to have their babies, thereby becoming U.S. citizens by birth or “anchor babies,” then take them back home, raise them as terrorists and send them back to the U.S. as adults where they will explode like cheap condoms, wreaking havoc on all we hold dear, presumably Olive Garden restaurants and Osmond family concerts.

One has to wonder what the hell is in their Kool-Aid.

###

And finally, some real terrorists...

From “Funny Or Die,” a BP Oil executive sends condolences to the oil spill victims.

UCAP: BP Oil Spill - watch more funny videos

Comments are the lime in my tequila…

injaynesworld "The Internet Keeps Its Promise..."

 

As we all know, the Internet is awash in false promises.   Nowhere is this probably more prevalent than dating sites, where 10-year-old photos, 10-year-age “enhancements” and  “What?  I didn’t mention I was married?” abound.   And then, of course, you have your garden variety serial killer.   Potential for disappointment looms large when meeting someone in person who you’ve only known in a virtual reality, so this past weekend when fellow blogger, Linda Medrano, her charming husband, Alex, and their two dogs, Harry and Honey came for a visit it was a lovely surprise.

Not that I was all that worried.  I’ve “known” Linda for nearly a year, our paths first crossing on the Divine Caroline website and then continuing to stay in touch as we both dipped our toes into the blogosphere, and then just dove the hell in.   Since we live only five hours from each other and neither of us could make it to New York for Blogher, we decided to have our own conference.  Linda and Alex are such warm, unpretentious, friendly people and we connected instantly.  They must have known that the way to my heart is through a good bottle of Sangiovese, which we polished off before taking an evening stroll around the lavender field and heading out to the local bistro for dinner.

Linda, a statuesque, platinum-haired hottie and Alex, a Navajo Indian, whose handsome face radiates the most kind and gentle spirit, make a striking couple and when you’re with them the fun truly never ends.   Although, you have to watch out for that Linda.   I kept catching her sneaking up behind me, trying to snap a picture of my (size 4) ass.  

Saturday was spent touring my little valley, visiting my horses Levi and Bubba, wandering through the quaint town of Santa Ynez, and picnicking by a pond at a local vineyard.   Then, all too quickly, our time together had run out.
 

When Linda and Alex arrived, I welcomed them as visitors.   When they left, I embraced them as friends.  If only my online dating experiences had turned out this well.

injaynesworld it's the "Sunday Recap..."

Congratulations to CatLadyLerew!

Winner of the IJW Blogoversary $25 Amazon gift certificate.   

I discovered Paula’s blog back in September of last year and have been enjoying her whimsical posts ever since.   If you’re a fan of the Magpie Tales, you know what a gifted short fiction writer she is, as well.  A lovely lady and a great blogger, I count myself lucky to be on her blogroll and always look forward to her comments.   Oh, and for those of you allergic to cats, as the name of her blog will tell you, she hasn’t a single one.  Visit her at: http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com/

To everyone else who left kind words and well-wishes, thank you so much.   I appreciate your support and encouragement more than you can know.  

And now onto this week’s Recap…

###

Raise the flag!

California’s discriminatory ban on gay marriage has been soundly overturned.

On Friday, Judge Vaughn Walker, a Republican and an appointee of President George H.W. Bush, declared Proposition 8 unconstitutional "under both the Due Process and Equal Protection Clauses," and enjoined its enforcement.

Walker wrote an amazing ruling and to those of you interested in the case or just turned on by legalize, Google it and savor every word.  It’s truly a thing of beauty and it’s going to be damn hard to overturn.   It goes to the very heart of the case for equality with this sentence. 

“Proposition 8 fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California constitution the notion that opposite sex couples are superior to same sex couples.” 

As you might expect, homophobes and haters were propelled into a mouth-frothing frenzy, charging the judge, who is believed to be gay, with imposing his own sexual bias.   Taking that logic a step further, one could say a heterosexual judge would not be able to fairly preside over the case either, leaving one to conclude that only a eunuch could satisfy these people.  

###

The Chinese counterfeiting business is circling the bowl…

Long known for its knock-offs of high-end luxury goods, it would seem China is now down-sizing like the rest of us.   In California, authorities recently seized a shipment of counterfeit Angel Soft toilet paper.   My size 4 tender tushy was mortified at the thought of anything less than the real thing caressing its lovely cheeks.  

Those diabolical Chinese clearly know America’s soft spot.   Was our government asleep at the wheel while they snuck up on us from behind?    I intend to demand that the assholes in Congress immediately take steps to issue sanctions against China for this ass-trocity. 

###

And speaking of "Shit Be Gone..."

More of the witless wisdom from Sarah Palin is coming in November.  Oh, yes.  We’re to be treated to yet another book from the mistress of all media, and just in time for Christmas, too!   The perfect gift to give to someone you truly despise, but feel obligated to buy for.  Her publisher released the cover of her new book this week and mockers everywhere are already making a mockery of it.   

###

As long as we’re on the subject of witless…

“The View’s” Elizabeth Hasselbeck came out with her highly scientific reasoning on why more women seem to be becoming lesbians later in life:  They can’t find a man.   “Older men are going with younger women leaving the women with no one.”  Right.  Because switching teams is just that simple – if you’re a simpleton, I guess.      

Hasselbeck is the same “guardian of our morals” who also opined that the morning-after pill should be banned even in cases of incest and rape.

Although the thought of this moron reproducing sends chills throughout my body, I do so look forward to her maternity leaves. 

###

Finally, long arguing that gay marriage would lead to the coupling of humans and animals, it would seem that the right-wing’s worst nightmare has indeed come true…

Your comments are the gasoline in my engine…

injaynesworld celebrates "Its One Year Blogoversary..."

 

Which means it’s lasted longer than any dating relationship I’ve ever had.   It would appear that listening to me spout off in my highly-opinionated, bleeding-heart liberal way is just not for everyone.  Go figure…

Then there’s you – my amazing, talented, witty and clearly masochistic readers who keep coming back for more.  Apparently, I’m easier to take when one knows an escape from my verbal onslaught is just a click away and you didn’t have to buy me dinner.

I had no specific plan or agenda when I started "injaynesworld."   I just wanted the freedom to write whatever came into my head and so it became an eclectic collection of everything from politics to private parts with the only guiding rule being “nothing is sacred.”  

Whether my words would interest anyone beyond the friends and family who I would unrelentingly harass to read them was anyone’s guess, but I hoped they would because a writer needs an audience.  We need to know that our words matter – that they’ve entertained or enlightened – that in some small way we’ve touched lives and made a difference. 

You have all made a huge difference in my life.  You each inspire me on a daily basis in your own unique way.  You’ve encouraged me, laughed with me, and supported me in my little venture here and I am very grateful.  

I thought it would be fun to do a giveaway just to say “thank you” and so I’m having a drawing for a $25 Amazon gift certificate.  I wish it could be more and I wish I could give something to each of you who have made this year so rewarding for me, but the economy is still kicking my ass.  There are no hoops to jump through.   You need only to be a follower and leave a comment.   One entry per person, please.   Entries close Saturday at 6:00 p.m. and then I’ll toss all the comments into a random drawing program and announce the winner in my “Sunday Recap” which, come hell or high water, I will get written this week.

Again, thanks so much for taking this journey with me.  I can’t wait to see what year two brings…

                                           

                

injaynesworld there are "Too Many Damn Balls..."

 

Time flies when you’re having fun – and even when you’re not.  It’s just been that kind of week.   So rather than throw together some half-ass “Recap” attempt not worthy of your reading, I’d rather just come clean.   I got nothin’.

We often have so many demands on our time, that trying to do everything can mean nothing gets done well.  So today I’m taking my own advice from my post, “The Power Of  No,” and giving myself permission to relax a little. 

If you also know what it’s like to have “too many balls in the air,” you’ll relate to this woman.   Although what she’s doing at a rock concert is anyone’s guess…