Monday, February 14, 2011

injaynesworld we are "Single On Valentine's Day..."

This post has been recycled from last Valentine's Day, and you'll probably see it again next year, too...

Valentine’s Day… Ah, yes.  A day to celebrate love.  A day for lovers to snuggle in that candle-lit corner booth, gaze into each other’s eyes and proclaim their undying affections.  A day retailers everywhere go out of their way to make you feel special because you are a twosome. 

Yes, today is your day.  As for me and singles everywhere?    Not so much…  Here’s what we get:

Happy No Candy For You Day

Happy You Can Forget About Flowers Too Day

Happy Don’t Even Think About A Card -- It Ain’t Gonna Happen Day

Happy You Get To Order From The Regular Menu Day

Happy Mercy Call From Mom Day

Happy Yes That Is Pity In Their Eyes You See Day

Happy Double-Occupancy-Only Day

Now lest you think I’m complaining about being single, let me assure you otherwise.  I could have married if I’d wanted.  I had suitors.  I’m not exactly leper material.   And I have nothing against those who choose to pair up.   Mazel tov.   All I ask is that as a single I, too, get a day dedicated to recognizing, celebrating, and rewarding my awesomeness.  

According to the last census, there were 92 million of us single types here in the old U. S. of A.  

In the 1980s, the Buckeye Singles Council in Ohio started “National Singles Week” to be celebrated each September 21st through the 27th.   So how come I didn’t get the memo?   Huh?  Ninety-two million of us and Hallmark can’t even come out with a damn card?   Obviously, this is a vast conspiracy to keep us down and I blame the Obama administration.  

So go ahead, couples.   Have your lousy, one-day, pitiful, over-commercialized love fest.  Come September, I’m going to be flaunting my single (size 4) ass with pride.  

Happy Thank You For Using Less Resources, You Get A Tax Break Week

Happy The Toilet Seat Stays In The Position Of Your Choosing Week

Happy Buy What You Want It’s Your Money Week

Happy Only Put Up With Your Own Family’s Bullshit Week

Happy Ice Cream For Dinner?  No Problem Week

Happy No Endlessly Stroking Someone Else’s Ego Week

Happy That Remote Has Your Name On It Week

Happy No Explanations To Anyone For Anything Week

Happy You Made It On Your Own Good For You Week

Oh, yeah… and I’ll be expecting gifts.

Meanwhile, I'll be celebrating my “singular sensation” with your comments…

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